Girls love planning. It’s in our DNA. Our mothers spend 9+ months planning for our arrival, so its only natural we catch on. (Guys are too busy playing with their joysticks from the very instant of conception to learn planning skills; some things never change). Women are naturally more in tune with time, dates, seasons, months, and cycles. We just have so many to remember, from menstruation to birth control, birthdays to holidays. That being said, any woman could tell you that Valentine’s Day is practically 2 weeks away and that this would be prime time to lock down a Valentine. Yes, as natural planners we like to start early, just in case our initial plans don’t work out.
Locking down a Valentine isn’t easy. Getting a guy to officially settle down in general isn’t easy. That’s why women need to take this time, this two and a half week grace period before the big heart day, to put their little feet down and stomp on their significant others until they give in and plead “boyfriend”. It’s time ladies. It’s time to DTR.
I remember the first time I heard the term “DTR”. It was in high school and I was seeing my on and off again boyfriend of 3 years. We were in the off stage, which means we were hanging out constantly without actually admitting how much we were hanging out. My best friend finally flipped her hair at me and said, YOU NEED TO DTR. DTR? The only DT combination I was familiar with involved an F and I was a confused 17-year-old who WOULD NEVER EVEN THINK OF THE F…
Anyway, I was confused. What the hell could DTR mean? But then she enlightened me. DTR = Define the relationship. Well, of course! Every woman gets to that point after months of intimate contact with a partner when they must define the relationship. It’s a turning point in every hook up when a woman finally decides to man up, literally, or man down (also, literally: any woman has license to violently punish a man who refuses to DTR in a positive manner).
Beware males of the world; the women are coming. These next few weeks before Valentine’s Day are prime time for DTRing. If you receive a text message reading: “We need to talk.” or “Let’s hang out tonight, just you and me.” or “I just want to know how you see us.” you’re probably headed straight for DTR, USA. Basically any text message with a period at the end of it can indicate a possible DTR attack in your future. If she starts to pull away. If you see her less. If she obviously waits to answer your text messages at least an hour later or after you text her multiple times, watch out. She’s playing you hot and cold to see if you’ll come running back to ask her to date you. Women. They’re clever. Always be aware of your surroundings because a DTR talk can come out of nowhere.
And the worst part is, the ladies are already ahead of you. There’s nothing you can do to stop the slow crawl towards an official and committed relationship. Whether she has just a toothbrush or an entire wardrobe at your apartment, you’re screwed. Because she has been working you for a long time, slowly but surely invading your mind, your space, your soul to extract your stony heart and crack your hard exterior so that no matter how manly, how fratty, how ballsy you are, when she hits you with the DTR talk you’ll be too vulnerable to say no.
Remember when she was coolly okay with you going to that mixer or hanging with your bros? When she sat and watched you play FIFA for hours without complaint? When she cooked you and your besties four-course meals, baked cookies, and rubbed your tummy when it was full? When she blew your mind by fulfilling all of your sexual fantasies so that you had to think up new ones when she wasn’t around? Remember that? Yea, now you remember. She does too. She remembers telling herself that it would all be worth it when she sprung the DTR talk on you and you had no other choice, in fact, nothing to say but “I want to date you. I want to be your boyfriend.”
Inception and Leonardo Di Caprio got nothing on women. We had you the minute you said, “I’m not really looking for a relationship.” Now, you definitely are.
As for the ladies, good luck. I know you don’t need it.
Photo source: http://cdn.worldoffemale.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Check-yes-no.jpg
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Duke chapter.