1. People brushing their teeth….or flossing or any other dental hygiene procedures. Everyone appreciates your impressive attention to clean teeth, and nobody likes bad breath, but GIVE IT A REST! Sure, we got a few chuckles out of it the first couple of times, but let’s not beat a dead horse. Time to let another part of the nightly routine have its 15 minutes of fame.
2. People playing the piano. We get it, you’re musically talented, but let’s be honest, you’re not Mozart, nor are you Beethoven or Chopin or even Ray Charles. Keep making your sweet, sweet music, just send the videos Bach (lol – get it?) home to your parents who are likely to be far more impressed.
3. Shooters. Considering Shooters is the only bar Duke students consistently visit (besides Devines, but when was the last time you saw a line to get in there?), I’m going to point out the obvious go out on a limb here, and assume a majority of the student body is familiar with what shooters looks and sounds like on a Wednesday or Saturday night. Those who enjoy Shooters are already there basking in its majestic ambiance in person or suffering from serious FOMO in Perkins, while those who are anti-Shooters are elsewhere, enjoying their air-conditioning, and are most likely not concerned with the “litness” of Shooters. Bonus points if Mr. Brightside is playing during your snap.
4. Birthday celebrations. Everyone loves birthdays, especially their own. There is nothing better than your special day, when all of your friends shower you with love, attention, presents and alcohol. That being said, social media documentation is not necessary each and every time the people on the hall of your dorm sing happy birthday to some kid 99% of us do not know. Enjoy the cake, enjoy the company, and for the love of God, put your phone down.