Now that you’ve gone to all of your classes, reassured your parents that you’re adjusting well to college life, and decorated your dorm room to near perfection, it’s time to build up your social circle. College is one of the best periods in your life to get to know tons of people from diverse backgrounds but for some, meeting new people is a task accompanied by nervousness and the feeling of fear. To help you alleviate your worries, here are a few tips for gaining friends.
1. It’s not as hard as it seems.
You’re building up a situation to be bigger and more difficult than it actually is. Once you readjust the way you think about socializing with strangers, it won’t seem as intimidating.
2. Think about what you like most about yourself.
Is it your sense of humor? Maybe it’s that you give great advice? Realize that people will never get to know the greatest part of yourself if you don’t put yourself out there! Determining your favorite personality trait will also keep you from becoming discouraged if you’re not feeling that friendship chemistry with someone you’ve just met. It’s helpful to have the mindset that you’re worth getting to know. And if people give you the cold shoulder during conversations, it’s their loss not yours.
3. Learn to not care about what other people think of you.
This step isn’t something that you can achieve overnight but when you stop caring about the opinions of people you don’t know, it’s easier to be yourself. When potential friends speak to you, they’ll be able to see that you’re a confident person and they’ll want to get to know you even more!
4. Put yourself in situations that are made for meeting new people.
Go to your RA’s events if you live in the dorms or try joining Greek Life where socializing is heavily encouraged. You could even attend a meeting for a club that is targeted towards a specific interest like fashion or Star Wars because then you already have something in common with all of the members.
5. You are not a magnet. Sometimes you have to make the first move.
Of course, it’d be great if people could just naturally sense when you needed someone to talk to. Unfortunately, if you want to make new friends, there are going to be instances where you have to take the initiative and introduce yourself to others if they don’t introduce themselves first. If the thought of starting the conversation fills you with anxiety, just remember that there’s nothing wrong with asking other people basic questions about their major or their interests (favorite movies, student organizations they’re in, etc.).
There will always be opportunities to make new friends during all your years of college so don’t be discouraged if you’re unhappy with your current friend group (or lack thereof)! Putting yourself out there can seem like a daunting task for many, but if you have the confidence and the right attitude going forward, making friends will hopefully become an activity that fills you with excitement rather than anxiety.