When I first suggested this article at our staff meeting, it was supposed to come out as a joke. The fact that my (almost) 22 year old self gets carded more than many of my (newly) 21 year old counterparts is humorous. I laugh at it. My friends laugh at it. The hotel receptionist laughs at it. The methods to getting carded that are listed below are based on my personal experiences, with only the slightest exaggeration. Please do not close out of this article thinking that doing the exact opposite will prove successful at getting a drink while underage. It won’t work.
1. Head to the liquor store right after class, in class attire.
I swear I have to dress up every time I want to buy a bottle of wine for a Thursday night. I tagged along with my roommate one time right when she got off co-op and I had just left class and I was the only one of us to get carded. I was in a perfectly decent sun dress and sandals but I guess the lack of professionalism when compared to her really tipped the scales away fromout of my favor.
2. Be super friendly with your waiter
Maybe I just have bad luck but I swear, every time I greet a waitress with a big smile and a warm response, an alarm goes off in her head telling her to card me. I’m just a super friendly person and the thought of having a good time with my friends always puts me in a good mood, which transfers over to my waitress. It must make me look like I’m acting overly confident trying not to get carded so they go ahead and ask for my ID just to be sure.
3. Go out for happy hour
For the *multiple* happy hours I’ve found myself at after co-op or just to relax after mid-term week, I’ve been ID’ed at all but two. TWO! Bartenders must believe that happy hour is when all of the underage students come out from the woodwork and, with my young features, I guess I’m an optimal target. Dinner with the parents? Not carded. Meeting with the parents for happy hour? Carded.
4. Buy a case of beer within a 3-mile radius of campus
Maybe it’s because I often fill a six-pack with two Not Your Father’s Rootbeers, three various flavors of Angry Orchard, and one wheat beer. Maybe it’s because I’m still somewhat close to a college campus and the cashier wants to be careful. Or maybe all they want is to see what state I’m from since it obviously isn’t Pennsylvania. Who knows? Without fail, whether I’m at Monde Market on 21st Street, or Old Nelson’s beneath Evo, I will get carded if I’m in walk-able range of a university.
5. Take too long to decide on your alcohol purchase
I am very indecisive about my alcohol choices, almost to a fault. As you could imagine, my pacing in front of the Sweet Wine section trying to figure out if I want to pay three extra dollars for the larger bottle of Barefoot Red Moscato does not give confidence to the store attendants regarding my age and my ability to purchase alcohol. If I stopped by after co-op and picked up something really quick, I had no problem. If I had to wait for someone or couldn’t decide for 15 minutes, I was carded. This one, I consider fair game, because if you’re underage you’re probably going to act in the same way. Unfortunately for me, I just look super shifty as I saunter around replacing wine bottles and doubting my judgment all across the store.
With my 22nd birthday fast approaching (one month, y’all!), I look forward to the day when my wallet only has to come out of the depths of my purse once every meal – at the end when I need to pay the check. If you, like me, look much younger than you are, I hope this article helped you to know that you aren’t alone, and apparently we’re going to be very thankful for our youthful features in five years or so according to everyone ever.