Why Self-Love is the Ultimate Relationship Goal
Often when we think of relationship goals, we think of amazing couples like Barack & Michelle, Ayesha and Steph, Gabrielle & Dwayne, just to name a few. While each one of these couples is amazing in their own way, the relationship you have with yourself is the ultimate goal. If you’re not yet there, we’ll share a few tips on how to get to that point and why it’s so important.
Self-love is defined as a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Self-love is so crucial in a world where we are often to left to feel like we’re not enough for a variety of reasons. Whether that be that our skin is too dark, our hair is too kinky, we’re too thin/thick, etc. We live in a society where Kim Kardashian is seen as the prototype and girls are often finding themselves questioning if they’re good enough. In this society, it’s beyond important to have and practice self-love daily.
To start, here’s your seven-step prescription for self-love:
- Become mindful
You need to realize and take note of how you think, feel and what you want in your life. It’s important to be mindful of all potential negative thoughts that may occur. From there, you need to take control of those thoughts by acknowledging them and spinning them into something positive.
- Forgive yourself
Be honest, how many times do you look at yourself and go over everything you believe you did wrong? It doesn’t matter if it was a test that you didn’t do so good on or if you feel like you could’ve said something differently. It’s important to forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you’ve made and take it as a learned lesson.
- Protect yourself and your mind
College is a time to figure out who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, etc. Often, we find ourselves connected to people and things that don’t really contribute to our success. In fact, they wind up being more detrimental. It’s important to learn that these people might not be the right people for you and the current place in your life.
- Set up some boundaries
In a way, this ties into number three. We often to get used to sharing everything with our friends and family. You probably shouldn’t get too comfortable though. Learn where boundaries need to be set. This can be not sharing extremely personal information or limiting it. This could also look like limiting what they want to share in order to protect your mind and well-being.
- Make a list of what’s working for you
If you’ve found that practicing yoga or meditation is helping you, do that. If you’ve found that limiting your social media time or cellphone time is working for you, do that. Whatever is working for you, jot it down and put it somewhere where you can constantly see it so you know what to do in case you find yourself slipping.
- Find your happy place
Everyone’s happy place looks different. Maybe you love going home and being near your family or maybe you love going to your best friend’s place just to chill and chat. Whatever that place looks like, going there where you unsure of yourself can be a tremendous help. And if you don’t have a happy place, take note of how you feel every time you go somewhere. If you find that you feel calm and not stressed, then it’s probably your happy place.
- Learn it’s perfectly fine if you let go
Don’t try to keep people or things in your life that have an expiration date. If they’re starting to hinder your growth, it’s probably best to let them go. Don’t feel bad about it either. You have to do what makes you happy.
Self-love is beautiful because it allows us to see the beauty in ourselves and to find it when we don’t feel our best.