I’m not extremely fearful of germs or am obsessed with cleaning as the dictionary defines the term; germaphobe. So, why am I considered a germaphobe?
I’ve never been diagnosed with the phobia, but I find myself reacting the same way as someone who would. My reactions and actions vary from situation to situation. For example, I find that taking out the trash is a battle and I must wash my hands immediately or I feel that everything I touch will be contaminated. And then there’s the time that I wouldn’t mind cleaning after someone else; SOMEONE ELSE’S mess.
I can definitely agree that OCD (Over Compulsive Disorder) can be related to being a germaphobe. Someone with OCD may find themselves washing their hands obsessively due to anxiety versus a germaphobe who will wash their hands until they feel clean. In my everyday life, I find that I spend at least 40 minutes of my day debating if I should pretend that it’s ok to be normal. Little random things such as should I find my shoes just to go into the bathroom or is setting my bookbag on the floor ok? Normal people don’t really think it through until you explain why you wouldn’t do it.
Most people clean their bathrooms once a week; therefore, only one day out of the week is the bathroom sanitize. Even if it is your own bathroom, it will never be 100% clean as much as you wish. So, how does touching the floor affect you? Well, it is your feet and your feet don’t go into your mouth, but they go into your shoes which you touch. They lay on your bed that the rest of you touches, especially your face. Imagine walking barefoot into a public bathroom, it is even worst. You are touching what other people’s shoes have touched!
So, why do I hate something that protects me?
Over the last few years, I’ve been overly asked why I eat my food the way I do, or why I hate touching the gym equipment. Sometimes, you wish these thoughts and actions were universally known as watching television. Avoiding germs and chemicals takes so much of my time and effort which I wish would go into something academically.
One thing that I have been suffered and that started as fear is over washing my face. As a teenager, I would see small breakouts on my face and target the sebum production by over washing my face. I thought that by washing my face constantly would remove that bacteria but as I realized after five years was that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. However, I would leave my skin squeaky clean therefore removing all its natural oils. This led to a damaged skin barrier which has been hard to improve. Not only did I do this to my face but my overall body and I didn’t know the extensive harm.
Another big thing that I found annoying about being a germaphobe was the fact that I sometimes try to fix someone’s way of doing things because I found it “unsanitary”. For example, if someone would not wash their hands, I would make small comments on how people get sick for that. Recently over the break, I had to cook and prepare my own meals due to the university being closed. I really enjoy cooking but when I cook with others, I find it hard. As a person who watches carefully on the handling of food, I really tried to properly clean the food myself to avoid an argument instead. However, this time I tried to face my fears and allow a friend to help prepare our meals for the first time.
Being a germaphobe is something more than just a fear. It is something psychological that one must carefully come to accept that the world is full of bacteria, viruses, and nasty things. I can never see myself being completely carefree about it, but I would like to notch it down a bit to a point where it doesn’t affect my day nor my relationships with others. So, yes, I can hate being in this never-ending psychological thinking but it’s something I have to embrace positively.