Long-Distance Relationships—Is It Worth It?

I interviewed Katy Vieck, a friend of mine on campus who has a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend, and she provided some valuable insight to a question many incoming freshmen might have: should I keep dating my S.O. if we’re going to different colleges?

HerCampus: Tell me a little about your boyfriend. How long have you been dating; when did you meet?

Katy Vieck: I met my boyfriend my sophomore year of high school in a photography class. He asked me to prom that year, and we started dating the winter of my junior year. We’ve been together ever since.

Katy and her boyfriend at three different proms.

HC: Did he have any impact on what school you chose?

KV: Well, yes and no. He was a big part of my decision, because of a lot of the colleges I looked at were close enough to where he could come visit. He and I actually visited DePauw together, and he said he could see me here, but I took that as more of a comment from a person who knows me well suggesting that this might be a good fit.  But I was also looking for colleges where I wouldn’t be too far from home anyway; I didn’t want to be away from family. So the decision had to do with him a little, but not entirely.

HC: How difficult would you say a long-distance relationship is?

KV: To say that it's easy isn’t true, but there are some days where things line up and you can talk on the phone and text. But then sometimes when our schedules just don’t match up, we barely talk, which does get rough. Main goal is to keep each other in our daily lives. I guess this is probably easier if you’ve been dating awhile before college; if you’ve been together longer, it’s easier to keep the person in your life every day.

HC: Tell me about some of the perks of having a long distance relationship.

KV: If I look unpresentable, then it’s fine. It’s not like I’m trying to impress anyone. That’s kind of nice; if I’m having a rough day, I don’t feel the need to look nice to try to impress guys! The other nice thing is that every guy I meet is a friend and not a romantic interest. This means I’ve become good friends with a lot of guys now. My boyfriend also tries to come visit for big things on campus; for example, he came to the Monon Bell game.

Katy and her boyfriend at the Monon Bell game.

HC: And now tell me about the drawbacks.

KV: I really miss him; of course that’s the hardest thing. There are some days when I wish I could see him, and it’s tough both being full-time students because we have less flexible schedules. Other couples we’re friends with who are doing other things other than college might have more flexible schedules, and that’s tough to see. It’s also annoying having to see pictures on Instagram of other couples going on dates.

HC: Things you recommend for incoming freshmen in this situation?

KV: Make sure that you make the other person a part of your life; call every day before bed if possible, have a set time when you always call them. Spend as much time as you can with them over the summer if possible. I thought I would regret that 'cause I thought it would be hard to go from seeing him every day to not seeing him at all, but it was actually nice. Don’t look at your years in college as losing time with your S.O. Look at it as your own adventure, but you have someone cheering you on the whole time. Respect their wishes; things are going to come up that make for hard conversations, but you need to have those conversations. Really talk about things honestly that bother you, or it’s not going to work. Know that you’re going to have to make compromises, but that if you both want it to work and you put effort into the relationship, it will!