Why does kissing have to be reserved for romantic relationships?
I have found myself contemplating this question often and for long periods of time over the course of the past several months – in fact, I think I began to contemplate why people aren’t kissing their friends all the time around when my ex-boyfriend broke up with me while I was studying abroad in Hawaii. At a time when I was lost and adrift in the pain of my own emotions, I found myself missing more than anything the simple and innocent intimacy of a kiss. Which got me thinking about how I hadn’t ever really kissed people I wasn’t in romantic relationships with or had a non-platonic connection with other than perhaps a quick peck on the cheek. And don’t get me wrong – an affectionate cheek kiss is one of life’s greatest pleasures. But why wasn’t I kissing my friends on the forehead, the nose, the mouth, the tops of their heads, their hair, their hands? Why was I denying myself the gentle joy of a kiss shared between friends? Why should kissing be a pleasure only enjoyed by those in a romantic relationship?
For me, the truth is plain and simple: it shouldn’t. I feel that we should kiss our friends often and joyously, in small moments and big ones, because affection and a sense of love and belonging is so incredibly important to my survival and emotional well-being. And you may be reading this article and thinking that I’m absolutely out of my mind for wanting to kiss my friends on the mouth. And maybe I am. But when you really think about it, is a kiss so very different from a hug? Or holding hands, or linking arms, or slinging an arm around your best friend’s shoulders while you walk down the street? I know that kissing is seen as something to be done with a romantic partner, or a quick peck on the cheek from a close family member. But, genuinely, fuck that. If I want to kiss my friends lightly and lovingly on the face, the mouth, their hair, or whatever, and they want to kiss me as well, why shouldn’t we? Why are we denying ourselves this small and honest gesture of affection just because it involves the mouth? It’s silly to me to do such, and I don’t want to do it anymore.
So, if you and your friends want to kiss each other, do it. Kiss your friends often, fearlessly, kindly, freely. I refuse to continue to contribute to a world where I can’t kiss my friends with no expectation of anything more. Share love with those who love you, and kiss them if you want to. I know I will.
*ALWAYS make sure you have consent before kissing anyone. It’s necessary in all situations in which you are wanting to touch another person and is absolutely non-negotiable. Consent is mandatory.