This is your time to be selfish! Above all, take care of you. Because after you strip away all the chaos you are all that you have at the end of the day. And damn it, you deserve to be loved, even if it is only by yourself. So, if your having trouble finding yourself after a heart break, take it from me, you will grow into yourself even stronger without them.
- Surround Yourself with Friends
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Indulging in friendships is so important during the post-breakup slump. I found that my friends helped validate my feelings and reminded me how I am strong and capable of being on my own. I couldn’t have done it without my girl gang. Also, being single lets you dedicate more time to being a good friend. Oxford conducted a study and concluded that on average people lose two close friends when they take on a committed relationship. With that knowledge, reach out to those friends you may have lost touch with, its worth it. Being there for your friends in return will help you regain a purpose in relationships and remind you that you’re loved and wanted.
- Commit to Your Passion
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Whether you like photography, working out, art, music, skateboarding, gardening, ect, this is a great chance to dedicate time weekly to doing something that makes you happy. I like to write, and I had put that on the back burner when I so concerned with my relationship. Now, I make it a priority. If there isn’t something you are crazy about, then pick up a hobby! Its never too late to start something new.
- Take Some Inventory
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You broke up for a reason. Take note of the complications and what you learned about who you are and what you need in a partner, so you don’t find yourself with someone similar again. Its beneficial to review your past relationship (as painful as that may be) and consider the red flags and points where you could have made different choices. By doing this, you are just protecting yourself from future hurt and you wont waste your time on people who are not living up to your standards.
- Remember Not to Romanize the Past
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Its easy to fall into the trap of only remembering the good parts of the relationship. If you find yourself feeling lonely and missing your ex, that’s a valid feeling, but just don’t act upon it. Try to keep in mind how the low points made you feel by yourself. If you need some tunes to match the mood listen to Flaming Hot Cheetos by Clairo where she explains her battle of not romanizing the past. Lastly, go ahead and do yourself a favor and unfollow, unfriend, restrict, delete that contact, because you will just find yourself checking up on them.
- Date yourself
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This may be the most important of them all. You have got to “date yourself” by trying new things and testing your limits. You can do this by trying new food, joining a club/organization, try out a new style, volunteer, attempt to be a morning person, select a new diet, ect. Though, I still can’t get myself to go to the movies alone, I refuse, but that’s okay because I know my limits, and I get lonely at the movies. This is how you’ll come to learn more about yourself and with that you must accept you for all that you are. Of course, this is a lifelong process and self love is a daily challenge, but what better day to start then right stinking now. These are things I did to heal and grow. While I know they may not work for everyone, I can only speak from my experience.