Diagnosing Sweata Weatha

Hello! Hi! It’s fall! Autumn is such a miraculous time of year. This is THE SEASON, ladies! This is a magical time where people are out and about in sweaters, but then by late afternoon those babies have to come right off because you're sweating. If you weren’t sure if we have officially entered autumn yet (thanks, climate change), check out the following list to see if you are indeed experiencing the symptoms of fall fever.


Typical fall fever symptoms include an immense need to visit a pumpkin patch and go on hayrides. If you’re scrolling through Instagram, I’m willing to bet you’ve already seen at least fifteen pumpkin patch based pictures-- keep in mind it’s only the second week of October -- and you're jealous.


Another condition of fall fever is that your ears are picking up any and all mentions of Spooky Season. That’s right, people! Hot Girl Summer is officially over, and we have now entered the Spooky Girl Season. Talk of sexy Halloween costumes has officially begun, and it’s all you can think about. These are the costumes that are commonly associated with the fall fever diagnosis, or maybe you’re hearing them for the first time-- either way, it’s part of the diagnosis. Here are a few examples to look out for:  

            -Sexy Elizabeth Warren 

            -Sexy Mr. Rodgers 

            -Dwight Schrute 

            -Joe Biden’s nose 

            - Sexy Coach Steve from Big Mouth   


Other than just Halloween talk, you’ve probably had the overwhelming urge to literally snort pumpkin spice. When you wake up in the frosty morning, your go-to is a beanie, a jean jacket, and a scarf! You don’t feel the need to shave your legs anymore, and you’re ok with the ghost that is looking back at you from the mirror-- it’s Spooky Season. If a light switch flickers, you automatically assume you’re in a horror film. Red wine is now the best thing ever. Taylor Swift’s album Red is on repeat-- don’t lie. The obsession with jumping into a big pile of crunchy dead leaves is incredibly overwhelming. The SNL “Sweata Weatha” skit has been on replay, and suddenly staying in is the best option ever. The show Gilmore Girls is speaking your language, and when you close your eyes you immediately picture Steve Harrington from Stranger Things …’cause... same.


Disclosure: These changes will become more frequent once you experience the urge to stuff yourself full of turkey. 

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, please contact your nearest Starbucks.