Relationships Are Hard: Three Tips to Support Your Long Distance Relationship

College is a messy, exciting, overwhelming time in a woman's life. So try mixing in the struggles and hardships that come along with a relationship on top of it all. Bottom line--relationships are hard. 

I’ve been in a relationship for the majority of my time in college, 3 out of my 4 years, and soon enough, I’ll be in graduate school doing it all over again. Maintaining my relationship hasn’t necessarily been a walk in the park. We’ve had our ups and downs just like everyone else, but sometimes it can feel daunting, especially when your partner is in college, too. I’ve seen so many friends date on campus and sometimes it’s frustrating because I know that my partner can’t be that close, that we will never share the same campus experience. 

So, yes. It is hard to maintain a relationship when you’re in college, but it is definitely not impossible. Here are just a few things that I’ve learned to help with the distance and the busy schedules that we face. 

 

  1. Don’t forget to make time for each other.

Sometimes life can get busy and school work and activities can overtake your schedule, leaving little time to talk with your significant other. One way to ensure that you can always chat with your partner is by creating a schedule. If you’re like me, it’s hard to keep up with things that aren’t in your schedule. So, pencil in a chat with your loved one. Eventually a schedule will create itself. Many times, my boyfriend has picked up on my schedule and began to call at a specific time, even if it was only a five minute chat or FaceTime, we were able to hear each other’s voices and feel in touch for a short time. Trust me, it makes a huge difference.

    2. Make sure to share the little things

You’d be shocked to realize what you can forget to tell a person when you’re not seeing them on the daily. I’ve found that sharing the little things brings my boyfriend closer to me when I’m feeling distant from him. Telling him about the assignments I’m working on in class or that I woke up late the other day, well those things matter. I’ve noticed that I feel most distant from my boyfriend when we stop talking about the little things in our lives. It’s as if it strips away a layer of my persona and we begin to wonder what the other person is doing. It may seem simple, and even dull, but it is worth it because you get to learn more about my partner, even from a distance. 

And lastly…

    3. Remember why you fell in love

When things seem really dark and you feel lonely, remember what it is about your partner that made you tick in the first place. Just because you’re far away and things feel hard does not mean that you won’t work out. Was it their smile, their kindness, or their ability to show you how much they care that made you fall in love? Remember those little moments that make you weak in the knees and woozy-- they still matter. Fighting to keep your relationship alive is not an easy task when you’re living far away from your significant other, but it is worth it. The moments that the two of you have together matter more and the little struggles seem to matter less. Don’t forget to tell them how much you love them and what it is about them that makes you want to keep fighting.