I was having a conversation with my mom the other day. We had our usual “catch-up” session about what’s been going on in our lives, and it ended with me telling her that I often don’t go out that much.
“Yeah,” I told her. “But I’ve always been kind of an introvert, so that’s nothing new.”
“What do you mean?” My mom was puzzled. “You are not an introvert. You have so many friends! You’ve always been social person.”
“Just because I have friends doesn’t mean I’m not an introvert,”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.” My mom stated.
In the end, I ended up changing topics because I didn’t quite know how to verbally explain it to her—that could also have to do with the fact that I couldn’t even explain it to myself. I guess that’s what this article is for, right?
I’ve always been a somewhat reclusive person. My closest friends can vouch for me on this, but here’s the situation: I only let people see the tip of my insecurities when underneath all of that is an entire shear of self-doubt. Alas, this defect of mine has made me at times be more reluctant to go out, meet new people, and have a big social life…
Yet, there are also moments where I do get an urge to go do things. When I’m in my dorm room alone while other people are out doing their own thing, I do get an upset. Why does it feel like I’m the only one that has nothing going on? Why don’t I have enough friends? Thus, my brain continues to spiral into a bunch of nonsensical questions.
So, if I don’t like going out, but I don’t like staying in, where does that leave me? I think there’s a thin, marginal, gray area that I probably fall in, but I also think that there’s a point worth taking from this, and that is to not get so caught up on labels. It seems miniscule to think about this in terms of “introverts” and “extroverts” but this can be applied to any situation. You don’t have to fit the textbook-definition on what it means to be something. There is so much of your time that gets whisked away when you become so obsessed over the ways to describe yourself, and that is not cool. I mean, between all the school forms that you have to fill out that basically ask you label yourself in a few short words or sentence, it is complete and utter BS. There is so much more to you then you think, and there is no penalty in exploring the things about yourself.
Truthfully, I absolutely know all the things I love about myself. But, do I still get insecure? Yes. Do I sometimes like going out? Yes. Do I sometimes like staying in with friends? Of course. Is there ever going to be one word that will ever sum up my entire personality? Heck, no. I think it’s important for all of us to start asking more complex questions about one another rather than the basic, barebone ones that you can find on any college application. Remember, people have layers—like onions. Because onions have layers. You get it, right?