Over this past week, I have had a lot of time to reflect and think about how what I am doing right now is going to impact my future and what I want to do with the rest of my life. I think that one of the most important things I have done is to make time for myself to listen to my thoughts and how I am feeling at a certain moment. “How am I going to hold myself accountable for this?” I started to write down lists in my notes app about the things I was feeling and things I might want to tell myself in the future. So I decided that I was going to write myself a letter and see how much would changed 5 years from now. I hope that this also helps other people who might feel the same way:
Dear Future Me,
If you’re reading this now at some point, you need to realize that the mistakes we have made in life have led us to where we are now. You’re going to realize this, even if it takes some time. You can’t let the fear of these mistakes keep you from going forward, it should just be even more motivation to keep going. I can’t promise that your life will work out exactly the way you want it to but there is going to be a time in your life where you are going to be happy with the person you have become and acknowledge all that you have accomplished. There will be one day in the future where you are going to look back at all of the mistakes you made that became a journey to get to this point in your life. You are the writer of your own narrative and that means that you have control over your life and the things you do in it. I think it is so much better to lead a life of risk-taking and chances than look back and regret it. The times we face challenges feel so destructive and consuming in the moment, but when we look back it, doesn’t seem that significant in the way. What does make a difference is whether or not we choose to move forward and keep looking for all the good things that life has to offer.
If I can give you some advice right now about how to move forward, I think that you should keep trying to stay positive and have an open mind. Do not be so quick to judge other people, especially regarding situations you have no control over. Don’t worry that something isn’t good enough because it doesn’t have to be all the time. I hope you one day begin to recognize that you are the best version of yourself. When you do that, you will begin to understand how much purpose you have in the world.
One of my favorite poems about the complexities of life and how we view ourselves as humans are by April Green:
“Becoming Her”
When I started showing up
as the woman I wanted to be,
the world began responding to me;
showing me all the different ways I needed to keep moving,
and healing and growing
and stretching beyond myself,
beyond anything, I had ever reached before.
When I started showing up
as the woman I wanted to be,
the world led me to a place where
I could finally say:
‘I am her.’
We battle between the different versions of ourselves in order to be the best at something and become successful in what we are doing. This is especially true among girls because there are such high expectations for what we have to become. In reality, it takes someone to acknowledge themselves as the best version and keep thinking that for the rest of their lives. Most people think that if you follow all these rules in life it will work out the way you want it to. Although there is some truth behind this, it is impossible to know for sure. There are so many challenges that people face along the way and you have a choice whether or not you want to face them or not. To do this you should accept the failures and losses in your life and try to find a silver lining in life’s hardest moments.