As an avid reader of Percy Jackson from a very young age, I have been fascinated by all kinds of mythology. These absolutely bizarre stories that people have been passing down as their legacies have kept me up at 3am trying to figure out how the heck was Athena born out of Zeus’s head.
Greek, Norse, Egyptian or Indian, every nation and culture has truckloads of myths that make no sense and are illogical, which is exactly why so many people are interested in them. If you dear readers are taking a shot at mythology for the first time, hold onto your seatbelts because I’m going to be telling you some of the bizarre myths from across the globe and trust me when I’m saying this, you’re not ready for this crazy ride.
- Aphrodite’s origin story:
When I say origin story, I mean we are literally going to look at the birth of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. Ironically, the birth of the goddess of love came out of an unusual act of violence. A quick history lesson, the primordial god of the sky Uranus and the goddess of the earth Gaia had a bunch of kids. Some were a bit not so perfect so Uranus locked them up, which made big momma Gaia really annoyed. So, she did what every sane mother would do. She instigated her kids (the Titans) to overthrow their father and take up the throne. The youngest Titan Cronus took the job and slashed his father in pieces. Now here is where the crazy enters. Cronus castrated his father Uranus so that he would be unable to have more kids. Cronus then threw his dad’s penis into the sea (logical reaction) and out came from the seafoam, a fully grown naked woman, the goddess of beauty. Aphrodite is technically then the oldest Olympian. Fun story to share around the dinner table, am I right?
- Kannaki and her left breast which destroyed a city:
Oh no, you read the heading right. Taking things to one of the oldest Tamil epics Cilappatikaram, we are looking at the story of the quintessential wife Kannaki and her husband Kovalan. Kovalan after a couple of years of marriage with Kannaki started to fall in love with a courtesan Madhavi but eventually came back to his wife Kannaki, who even though betrayed did forgive her husband like a dutiful wife. They moved to the city of Maturai where Kannaki gave Kovalan her gold anklet to sell because they did not have any money. However, the king’s goldsmith tricked Kovalan into getting him to the palace and blamed Kovalan as the thief who stole the queen’s lost anklet. The King, without a proper trial (which would’ve proved the goldsmith as the thief), decided to execute Kovalan immediately. The heartbroken Kannaki stormed into the palace and showed her other anklet, proving that the anklet that Kovalan had was full of rubies instead of pearls which the queen owned. When the King realized he had messed up big time he conveniently died at the spot, and his Queen followed suit. Kannaki then wrenched her left breast out and threw it at the city, burning the rich city of Maturai to the ground. Now that’s what I call a major power move.
- The wife of Agamemnon and her murderous plot:
Now we all know the story of Helen of Troy and the battle that followed when she was abducted. However, Helen had a sister Clytemnestra who was also a renowned beauty married to King Agamemnon. Agamemnon was one of the leading rulers from the side of the Greeks who went to war to get Helen back. Now, Agamemnon really wanted to win the war. So, he did the usual and sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia to make the gods listen to his prayer. Agamemnon left for Iliad, leaving behind a mourning wife who swore vengeance. Clytemnestra then had an affair with Aegisthus with whom she plots her husband’s death. When Agamemnon comes back from the war years later, the tale goes that when he was in the bath, Clytemnestra threw a net over him and stabbed him to death. Love is beautiful, right? I mean in Agamemnon’s case, the love his wife had for her daughter is the reason he is dead. There was also this tiny added factor that Agamemnon had also killed Clytemnestra’s first husband to marry her. So, Clytemnestra really hated her husband but then she continued to rule their kingdom alongside her lover. Pretty badass if you ask me.
- The time Thor dressed up as a beautiful bride:
A little Norse mythology time for you all. So, the myth goes as such: Thor, the god of lightning woke up one day and saw that his hammer, Mjölnir, was missing from his side. Turns out that the giant king Thrym had stolen the enchanted hammer and demanded that the goddess Freya, the goddess of fertility and love become his bride. When Thor asked Freya to marry the not-so-pretty-looking giant, she of course said no. This led to the only solution Thor could think of – dressing up as Freya, ambushing the giant King and getting his hammer back. So, Thor dressed up as the bride and his brother Loki, the god of mischief as his bridesmaid went to the giant’s place to get married. In some versions of the myth, Thor goes through with the entire marriage before the hammer is put in his hands as a gift with which then he takes down the giant king. Also, if you didn’t imagine Chris Hemsworth in a gown while reading this then we can’t be friends!
These were just some of the insane mythological stories that I have picked up along the way. Trust me if I sat down to write more, we could be around for a long time. I hope reading these tiny tales makes you want to check out more about the other myths because this is the best way to understand the diverse culture that is out there. History and legends dictate in many ways how people live their lives in the present, so let this be the nudge you need to understand people by jumping into the big pool of knowledge that exists out there!
P.S. If you’re wondering how Athena popped out of Zeus’s head, it’s because Zeus swallowed the goddess of wisdom Metis who was pregnant with Zeus’s child at the time (don’t even ask for context, it won’t help). Zeus then got this super painful headache and he asked his son Hephaestus to chop his head open with an axe to get rid of the pain. As soon as Zeus’s head was chopped, out jumped the fully grown Athena, the new goddess of war and wisdom. Ah, Greek mythology and logic, best friends.