At first there was void- no, sadly, I’m not talking about your black furred pet curled contently at your foot giving you some majorly Instagram-able content. There was actually absolutely nothing. Why? Probably because The Creator of the Universe went through a bad break up and wanted a clean slate- we’ll never know. But in this probable heartbroken stupor of theirs, they put together a few atoms here, swirled a little magic there, and dusted it all with a little bit of faith, trust and pixie dust (yes, even the Creator is a stan of classic Disney movies- that’s just a fact of life) when bam! And suddenly, we had 98 percent of the Universe there would ever be and that too under 3 minutes, the same time it would take for you to prepare a cheese sandwich, which, would still end up tasting disgusting by the way, because admit it, you are quite sloppy and a barely functioning adult.
Anyway, back to our story, so as is the course of nature, things started evolving and nature began nurturing and all those processes our science books made us learn in excruciating detail and in the most painfully boring way possible just so we could get through our papers started taking place. Life was good. Things were at peace. But now that The Creator had gotten over their breakup blues, they were once again bored of being single, and ready to mingle. So, like any self respecting single, they went on GodFinder( it is an authentic dating app where even Zeus and Hades are looking for suitable partners. I’d ask you to check it out for yourself, but oh well, you are but a puny human, so that’s a no go for you) and probably found themselves someone or even made it last for all we know. We can only guess, given the fact that the Universe still exists.
In the euphoria- no Maddie and Cassie drama in here, sorry- of having found his first ‘right swipe’ on GodFinder (again, a legitimate app) he put a whole lot of glitter, a big bucket of curiosity a big pack of happiness and made a mound with a few limbs and a fish head. Why this weird creature though? Probably because The Creator knew that some rascal names Darwin and a building that people would eventually come to call the Church would bicker over whether the puny humans rose from fishes or from bellybuttons and when they did so, The Creator would have a good laugh munching away on a pack of Doritos. Anyway, he made these creatures who eventually turned into us and we made more of our kind and populated and populated and populated some more till we could populate no more…But wait, we’re still populating, right? Oh goody, so that ship is still sailing. Well, the world was a happy place, the people were still populating, The Creator had just gotten a premium membership badge on the app and an equally high number of right swipes- in short, things were going swimmingly.
Fast forward an insane amount of time with so many zeroes in the end that you run out of fingers while counting.
It’s a quite Monday morning in GodVerse. The Creator was binging on “How I Met Your Mother : The Quest to find Rihanna” (like The Creator would settle for anyone less!). Creator’s partner who was next to them turned to them and complained, “Why don’t you go and see what has become of that round planet-y thing and that void mass with all the specks you put in it? It’s been a while since you checked up on that. Do get your lazy self off that couch sometime for Our sake!” So after much nagging and pushing around, The Creator finally came to see what we were up to. Now, I may not know much, but my brief stint of 19 years in this place in human capacity has taught me one invaluable thing – “We are stupid people.” And extremely so. So, as expected, when The Creator saw what we had made of his little science experiment, he was pretty darn enraged and disgruntled and in general looked like what Donald Trump did when Mexico refused to furnish the cost of building the Mexican Wall for the safety and betterment of HIS country and to keep HIS people safe ( seriously, even The Creator had to face a tough time due to Trump at the PTMs. That pesky kid…)
Back in GodVerse, The Creator’s partner was not happy in the least to see that round-y thing and the void their significant other had gifted them wasting away. Spats took place, sparks erupted, there was thunder and yelling, rains poured, utensils were thrown- The Creator just couldn’t take it anymore and SNAP! There was pitch darkness and void once again……other than the distant voice of Freddie Mercury crooning, “Nothing really matters to me” fading away, because come on, even The Creator knows that that’s LEGENDARY STUFF.
It’s a void once again. A clean slate once again. Our dear Creator is again sad and therefore, to fill this void, they start mixing and shaking up things here and there and the cycle goes on. Now, one cannot say for sure if The Creator ever gave up their bachelorhood days and even if they did, when? All we know is that in this installment of life, we have a limited, a very limited time. A stipulated period because no one knows when The Honeymoon Phase of The Creator’s this relationship will get disturbed and we’ll be reduced to ashes and dust and void. And all we can do in this period to make the most of it, is live in habromania while being acutely aware of our morality. Unlike Pubg, this game doesn’t allow a revive. Call me delusional, call me whimsical, but I’d rather spend my time here in habromania before SNAP! and suddenly, I’m once again space dust.