Ilesha: Hi! Where are you, buddy? Long time no see!
Jivi: Hey Gurl! What’s up? Well, I’d been slogging day and night for the past 6 months to crack a deal, and guess what!
Ilesha: What? Huh?
Jivi: Your buddy cracked it! It’s a one-in-a-million deal! I’m so excited.
Ilesha: Oh my goodness! Big Congo! Always knew that you’ll do wonders in whatever you pursue. I’m so proud of you!
Jivi: Thanks ya! Wait! Let’s do a video call. I’ve got something to show you.
Ilesha: OMG! Did you just buy a house?
Jivi: Yeah! Just got done with all the formalities and ta-da here’s the beach! and look there – that’s my Royal Enfield Interceptor 650. Can’t wait to ride it off with you…
Well, just like the majority in the 21st century, Ilesha is extremely happy for her best friend’s achievements and is extremely proud of her but on the flip side, she feels dejected and is taken aback when she peeps into her own life from an erroneous standpoint. A vantage point like that which is based on faulty parameters always gives incorrect measurements. She, like everyone else, pointlessly compares the beginning of her life with the highlights of other’s lives.
Let’s dive deeper into the nuances linked with the aforementioned conversation in the widest sense so as to scrutinize the deficiencies in our own measuring scale.
Comparison is a futile exercise that robs us of our happiness and undermines self-worth
First, consider going through the below-mentioned series of questions:
Does each one of us come from the same place? No
Are our circumstances the same as others? No
Do our parents belong to the same socio-economic and cultural backgrounds? No
Did our lives begin in the same way as others? No
Are we surrounded by the same set of people? No
Don’t we harbor our very own different set of experiences in life? Yes, we do!
Haven’t we been born and brought up in different ways? Yes, we have!
Aren’t each one of us unique in our own ways? Yes, we all are unique.
Can any two people ever lead the exact similar life? No
Then how can we even try to compare ourselves with any other individual for that matter? Most of us often find ourselves trapped in an incessant cycle where we constantly feel the pressure to outperform our peers just for the sake of seeking validation from the society. In the process, we end up trading off our originality for something which is too volatile in nature.
The inexact lens of the materialistic world
The avaricious world that we are a part of measures everything through a gloomy lens that only perceives the number of properties held by an individual, the amount of money earned, the affluent lifestyle led by a person, the magnitude of wealth acquired, the extent of ownership of vehicles, the power and status attained, so forth and so on. Needless to say, happiness, self-fulfillment, relationships, kinships, sense of gratitude, emotional intelligence, et cetera fall beyond the power of the biased lens.
Definition of Success is unarguably different for everyone
The life story of every person on this earth is so different. A semi-skilled man from a far-flung village who ends up securing a decent job in the city regards it as equivalent to owning a paradise or winning an Oscar.
When a student in any competitive examination secures AIR 1 then that shouldn’t espouse that he/she is more successful or rather better than an AIR 2 holder or any other ranker for that matter, because of the extraordinary circumstances under which they end up acing the exam are very different. What is the probability that the AIR 1 holder would have secured the same position if he/she would have been in the shoes of any other candidate? Distinct circumstances and unique capabilities indeed set us apart from everyone on this planet.
Jot down your own definition of ‘Success’
‘Success’ has lately become synonymous with all the worldly and material gains possessed by a person. But this definition is a social construct and needs to be dismantled. Just for the sake of fitting into the world’s definition of ‘Success’, we end up chasing materialistic things in life, not realizing the fact that all of this is as transient as us.
Pick up your pen forthwith and make a note of what is ‘Success’ for you in different interrelated domains and devise your own plans for achieving it.
We don’t need the things we think we need to lead an amazing life
There exists no mathematical formula stating that happiness is directly proportional to the number of assets held by a person. Happiness has a myriad number of routes that may not always be about acquiring something which is necessarily tangible. An abstract concept like Happiness can’t for long be just associated with physical/concrete belongings.
Life’s race track: Not everyone has the same starting point
All of us must understand that each one of us is in our own time zone. The finish line shouldn’t necessarily be about who finished first but how far one has come. It is high time that we stop attaching ourselves with the end results because oft-times our journey turns out to be more beautiful and enriching than the final destination.
Thereby, life should essentially be a race between who we were yesterday and what we want to be today. So run after your dreams at your own pace. Don’t let the world decide your momentum and rush you up. Chase things in life that actually matter to you and give it your best shot.
Let us be our own cheerleaders and pat ourselves on the back time and again in the process of becoming the best versions of ourselves.