Dating in itself is many things, from exciting to awkward to weird to fun and everything in between. Belonging to the LGBTQ Community and dating is no picnic either. It’s a hard-boiled difficult task with a number of bumps to deal with. Entering into the world of dating can be intense, and especially if you are lesbian or newly coming out as one.
Like any relationship, this is challenging too. The people who openly talk about it are limited as well. The lesbian community is another whole world, which needs to be explored. HCDN is here to give you the ultimate lesbian dating guide, giving you pieces of advice, rules to follow, how to find the right one, and what not!
- Be sure about yourself
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Coming out to society or even to yourself can be a very intense and personal matter. Be sure about whether you want to explore or just be casual, be sure about yourself and even what you want in your potential partner. Once you figure it out a little, you are good to go and the more you figure it out, the easier it will be.
Don’t forget to take your time, Things may feel weirdly new and intimidating after you come out but make sure you take all the time you need before entering the world of dating and be comfortable with yourself. You don’t have to rush into relationships or casual dating or sex. It is okay to get to know the real you and spend some time with her. Learn more things about yourself, cheer yourself up, talk to someone, go out and enjoy yourself.
- Dating apps: a boon or a bane?
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Women tend to remain very closeted so it leads to a very limited place for them to know, and explore. This is where dating apps come to the rescue for LGBTQ Community. You will notice the LGBTQ community is twice likely to be on dating apps than straight people. It creates a safe space for the community, to experience and know what is best. The dating apps can be very intimidating and make you anxious in the beginning, but don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try. If you still feel anxious, try out simple things like talking to your close friends about how you feel, join online support groups, connect with people to feel better!
Pro tip: As every coin has two sides so does lesbian dating, even though most dating apps have ‘lesbian’ as an option, but it does not mean they are ‘lesbian- friendly’, often couples are just looking for a lesbian just to find a person for a threesome (which is obviously your choice). Also, often males pose as a lesbian just for fun. In short, don’t be terrified of dating sites but just be careful, try to look for verified profiles, talk thoroughly before meeting through texts, calls, and video calls in order to be sure. Another great way can be finding mutual friends who can tell you more about the person.
- Always ask the other person about their wants
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Once you find a potential person for yourself, be sure to ask them what they are looking for. For any person who is new into lesbian dating, they may not know what they want. Be mindful of your partner’s answers, whether you want something serious or casual or something else, be sure to ask the other person and try to discuss this from the very beginning. This will lead to less confusion and doubt. This can be easily done by the second or third date. As your relationship progresses, continue to discuss all aspects. Remember communication is the key!
Another important aspect in a relationship is understanding each other, just because you both belong to the same sex does not mean that you both will have the same opinions all the time. You are two different individuals with different opinions and perspectives. Be kind to listen to each other’s opinion and most importantly, make sure the other person feels that they are heard and respected for their opinion. Always respect each other’s boundaries, don’t overindulge if they are not comfortable. Trust the process of knowing each other. Remember that you both are in the same team, always try to have a mutual understanding and front with each other.
- Dating a newly out woman
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Whether you have been into same-sex dating or are a newbie, being sensitive and considerate is an important aspect of your relationship. To ensure this ask questions, keep on communicating :
– Share what your coming out experience is/was like
– Ask what type of affection she is comfortable with
– Avoid putting pressure on the thing she seems anxious about
– Trust the process and be patient
- Little things matter
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Make sure to do the little things in order to grab your girlfriend’s eye, little things matter the most. Dress up for a normal date, be innovative, and do a little out of the box gestures for her, make special treats, give a simple massage and so much more. These little things make up a lot of any relationship!
- Discussing future possibilities
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If you feel that this relationship is progressing into something serious, don’t hesitate to discuss future possibilities. Within the LGBTQ community, raising children has been a constant debate and a struggle whether they want to have kids. If yes, which mode to choose, as there multiple methods available for same-sex women when it comes to having children. It is important to discuss these serious issues in order to avoid any issues later.
With these lesbian dating advices in hand, you are good to go! Initially, it can be really hard as coming out is a long and exhausting process. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and explore. Experience different relationships, and enjoy. Don’t be scared to make a mistake or two. Also, if it turns out to be a weird date, it will be a great story someday!