(This is the first part of a two-article series that throws light on the problematic glorification of toxic masculinity in Bollywood. To read the second part of this series, click here)
Movies always offer us an escape from the harsh realities of the real world. They play a substantial role at every stage of our lives. Our exposure to Bollywood movies began before we could even speak properly. Naturally, we end up learning about the multitudinous aspects of life from them, including ideas of love, romance, and relationships. They leave a lasting imprint on our minds and greatly influence our emotions, opinions, decisions, and behaviour. But only after we reach a certain age of maturity do we realize how Bollywood plays a significant role in propagating gender-based stereotypes like hypermasculinity 𑁋 a gender-based ideology of exaggerated beliefs of what it is to be a man.
The majority of the films have ‘angry young Indian men’ as their protagonists. They are depicted as mature, easily angered, independent thinkers and protectors of women. On the other hand, women play ancillary characters of domestic divas or sex objects, portrayed as irrationally emotional, physically weak, and dependent on the opposite gender’s counterparts. According to Bollywood, everything is fair in love and war.
But wait, no!
Physical abuse and toxic masculinity cannot be admissible in a relationship. Your love for your girl is not your ticket to bully her and force your decisions on her. Well, who isn’t aware of the iconic Bollywood scene where the hero tightly grips the heroine’s wrist while she struggles to make herself free or his stalkerish behaviour after facing rejection. Even more surprising is that these scenes have widespread romantic appeal and are perceived as grand gestures whereas they should only be viewed as nothing but sexual harassment and blatant ignorance of consent.
Since time immemorial, Bollywood has been projecting a stereotypical understanding of masculinity that demands men to be physically strong, head of the household, emotionally unavailable and the sole breadwinners. And as if that was not enough, they also have to be tall, grow a beard, pick up fights and make loud noises. It’s not just oppressive to those who don’t relate and identify with this idea of being a man but also harm the ones who are conditioned to think that there is no other way to be.
Most Bollywood movies centre on the idea that it is normal for a lover to get out of the way and capture their love interest’s attention to an extent that makes them uncomfortable. ‘Dhadkan,’ ‘Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein,’ ‘Aashiqui 2,’ ‘Kabir Singh,’ as well as countless other movies in Bollywood glorify the obsessive attention-seeking habits of the lover.
There is a clear line between needing attention and obsessively demanding it. Most things that make your partner uncomfortable cannot be good for the relationship. There is nothing wrong with portraying a negative or toxic character but what is wrong is glorifying their behaviour to a level where people start idolizing and following them. The underlying issue is the audience believing that going down on an alcohol-fuelled and drug-fuelled path of self-destruction is the only correct representation of dealing with things like heartbreaks.
Amidst all the dark and deep-rooted toxicity, there are some movies that defy this pattern. Sunny from ‘Dil Dhadakne Do’ called out Ayesha’s husband for being misogynist, Dr. Jug from ‘Dear Zindagi’ normalised and introduced the importance of mental health in Indian households, Kabir from ‘Ki & Ka’ shattered the concept of gender roles set by society, Jay Singh Rathore from ‘Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na’ showed us that being a good human and doesn’t require channelizing machismo.
All these characters give us a glimmer of hope that Bollywood might break out from its virulent shell. Given the current scenario, that might take a bit more time as characters who negate the trends of toxic masculinity aren’t quite the norm in Bollywood yet.
The depiction of men as confused and emotionally charged don’t appeal to the audience. Indian society still looks for someone who would rather put up a front of being strong, dominant and financially secure. We can only hope Bollywood progresses to replace this toxic narrative with a more authentic one.