I came to college with pretty basic goals, make good friends (which I have), get a degree (6 more weeks) and have some fun (involving tequila mainly). My last reading week ever has me reflecting on the fun I’ve had… as has this weekend’s Six Nations games.
While sitting in the pub with some friends, I’ve realized that I’ve had sex with 5 out of the 6 nations. While that isn’t something that I’ll add to my graduate programme applications, I am surprisingly proud of this accomplishment. And to celebrate, I’ve decided to rank the 5 to help the next woman before she goes home with a lad. Please learn from my mistakes, girls and guys.
5) France
Listen, we are all disappointed that the ‘Country of Love’ didn’t make good on its promise.
It was all about him: the foreplay, the positions, and the use of condoms.
Safe to say, France and I don’t get on for a number of reasons after that night.
4) Italy
A step up from France, because he made a point to try to listen to me.
It was incredibly unsuccessful, and I went home in about 30 minutes from entering his house, but the attempt was nice, and it secured him the coveted #4 spot.
3) Ireland
Save to say that that this one has been tried to most.
Being honest, it’s always good! But, never great. I could take the best Irish lad and put him against the rest and it’s still just good.
A woman needs some GREAT every once in a while. That’s when we start looking at #2 and #1 to fulfil our needs.
2) Scotland
Have you ever heard a Scottish man dirty talk? That accent… saying dirty things in my ear? While on the beach in the middle of the night?
… and that was just the foreplay.
1) England
I know. I hate myself for it too, but orgasms don’t lie.
They listen to my needs, they give me what I want, cuddle all night, and then they give again in the morning.
Twice.
I have 6 weeks left to find a Welshman to add to the list. I’m on a mission to complete my six nations, but why is finding a Welshman in Dublin so hard? If all Welsh men could please come to Nubar in the next 6 weeks, that’d be great.