The Six (Not so Secret) Secrets of the Group Chat

Here are the six types of texters in every group chat:

Lurker

The group chat is always hopping and the Lurker knows it. They read all the hot topics in the group chat but never engage. This person is very involved in the group in reality but online they are silent and watching from the shadows of the group chat. Everyone knows they are there but no one knows what they are thinking. They are the Mysterious guy in the corner of the pub hidden in plain sight.

Gossip Girl

This person uses the group chat as a counselling service. When this person is typing you just know some saucy scandal is about to hit the chat. From everything to relationship advice to hot gossip this person always has the scoop. Who needs Dan Humphreys when you have them in the chat? Even going through a dry spell of gossip they have the local and international news. Their sources remain a mystery.

Hiatus Hun

This person is an endangered species making it very rare to have a sighting of them. They always seem to be too busy for the group chat. They don’t even read the messages and seem to disappear off the face of the earth unless a private message is sent to get into the group chat right away. Hiatus Hun is happy staying out of the group chat until something important comes up. 

Sly swiper

Easily mistaken as the Hiatus Hun, this person likes to stay up to date with everything in the group chat but does not want to engage. They find the constant messaging of the group chat hard to keep up with but have major FOMO. They swipe to read the message but never open it, so no one knows they are the true secret Lurker of the group. Born to be an undercover agent the Sly Swiper knows all your secrets, you just don’t know it.

Meme master

This person is surprisingly defensive of their memes. The joker of the group, this person constantly sends in memes striking up a light-hearted conversation that is bound to set the group chat on fire. But beware sending in a meme that has already been sent is punishable by the dreaded opened, leaving you feeling abandoned and lost. The Meme Master is the entertainment that keeps giving, even when you’ve had enough.

Big Mama

Always there with a pint of water and comfortable shoes, this person remembers what you want to forget. The mother of the group is always around to make plans. They have a side Hustle in fortune-telling, always prepared for the unthinkable for some, but blatantly obvious to Big Mama. They are the organised ones who always have something for the group to do and keep the group on track, not afraid to use the wooden spoon if necessary.

 

Almost every group chat has at least one of these people. Which one are you?