There is often a ‘hush-hush’ approach to the topic of relationship breaks:
‘If you really love each other then you don’t need a break’…
Absolute Bull.
We are all only human at the end of the day. We get overwhelmed with busy lifestyles and sometimes we just need a bit of breathing space. Some time to relax, reflect and recoup before we give any more energy to our partners… and that’s okay!
99.999% of breaks have two eventual outcomes:
- You and your partner grow stronger than ever as a couple
- You guys break- up
Either way, I see it as a win-win situation because ultimately if you make it through a break; your relationship grows stronger and if you don’t then it was never meant to be. If a break is on the cards for you then here are my top tips on how to make it a successful one.
‘WE WERE ON A BREAK’…
Ah yes, the infamous debate, were Ross and Rachel really on a break? If you are considering taking some time away from your relationship the number one tip is to set boundaries! You and your partner both need to decide where to draw the line when it comes to seeing, kissing and or sleeping with other people; otherwise, you can strap yourself in for a remake of this unforgettable scene from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (And trust me, neither one of you will enjoy that.)
Is it a ‘break’ or the beginning of a ‘break’(up)?
You and your partner should evaluate the need for a break in the first place. Are you entering this break with the intention of working on yourselves to improve the relationship and reconnect with one another… or are you taking this break with a breakup in sight? If you feel yourself identifying more with the latter then save yourself and your partner the heartache and end things. Remember, delaying the problem is not going to make it disappear, it will only make things worse.
Self-love is the best love
Take this break to work on you! Read some self-love books, listen to a podcast, practice yoga, meditate, work out, make some cupcakes… do whatever makes you happy! Often we give so much of ourselves to our romantic partners that we forget to prioritize our own self-love. Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to evaluate what’s important in your life and reincorporate those things back into your day-to-day routine.
Dear Diary… I miss them
I know it sounds cheesy but keeping a diary during this break will be the best way to understand your feelings and it will help you communicate them clearly to your partner. If you have both decided to not talk during this time apart then writing your feelings in a diary will make you feel 100 times better while respecting the boundaries initially set. Take some time each day to evaluate how you feel during this break. Do you miss your partner? Do you feel relieved, like a weight has been lifted? Can you see what parts of your relationship you appreciate and which parts you need to work on? When you two see each other again you can talk about your diaries and understand how your partner was feeling, ultimately creating clarity within the relationship and potentially fostering a stronger bond between you both.
You need not fear the dreaded ‘break’ in a relationship.
Choose to believe that everything happens for a reason and if you are meant to be together you will always find a way…
Oh and P.S, don’t forget that you’re royalty!