Saoirse’s Speaking Out Met with Awkward Silence
Saoirse Ronan was among the guests on Graham Norton’s couch last Friday night. Joined by other special guests, male actors; Paul Mescal, Eddie Redmayne, and Denzel Washington. They all seem like perfectly nice men, right? However, their deafening silence after Ronan’s remark about women’s safety and our need for self-defence spoke volumes. The awkwardness made us all turn a deeper shade of red than Graham Norton’s couch. But were we red with embarrassment or with frustration?
The awkward moment has gained traction across social media. Since I tuned in to Graham Norton last Friday, many videos about the interview have appeared on TikTok of women addressing the issue. Women, even in the US, were unimpressed by the male guests’ lack of acknowledgement of these serious issues such as women’s need for self-defence. There were comments on these videos expressing a newfound or perhaps ongoing dislike for Paul Mescal. I hate to say it, but I’m starting to agree. The least he- or any of the other men there that night- could have done was agree that this is, in fact, a problem women face all too often.
“Who is actually going to think about that? If someone actually attacked me, I’m not going to go ‘phone,’” said the actor, gesturing as if to take a phone out of his pocket’. I have to say, it is quite disappointing for Paul not to speak up in support of Saoirse since there have been recent cases of violence against women in Ireland. Has he forgotten about the case of Ashling Murphy on both his and Saoirse’s home turf and the public outrage that came with it?
It seems as if no matter how hard we try, these serious issues are just swept under the rug and women are expected just to deal with it. Of course, there’s the argument; “but not all men are like that”. That’s the thing; we know that, but we don’t know which men are dangerous and could harm us. If you’re walking alone, especially if it’s dark and there’s a man behind you, you’ll certainly be hyper-vigilant about it until he’s out of the same path. It’s not just a problem in Ireland, of course. It’s just as bad- if not worse in the UK and the US. Another awful case of violence against women that happened before Ashling Murphy’s murder was the murder of Sarah Everard in the UK. Everard was kidnapped and murdered at the hands of a police officer. And these are the ones who are supposed to keep people safe? If the police can’t even be trusted, then who can?
As Saoirse Ronan said, unfortunately, women must think about self-defence and protection against potential attackers. We need to learn how to protect ourselves on nights out or even just walking somewhere; don’t leave your drink unattended, keep your keys or something sharp on you, and stay in groups when you can. Even when we do all these things, attacks still happen and who gets the blame? You get questions like; Well, what were you wearing? Did you defend yourself? Did you lead him on in any way? It’s always been about shaming women and girls when it happens but not educating men and boys to prevent it. With the state that social media is currently in and the content being consumed mainly by men and even young boys, ideas of misogyny and the objectification of women are being preached and leading to growing numbers of femicides. Luckily, Andrew Tate hasn’t got as big of a platform anymore. Media literacy needs to be better understood by what is harmful and unrealistic content versus what isn’t.
Saoirse was right to speak out against the ignorance of the men in her company and remind them “That’s what women have to think about all the time. Am I right, ladies?”
All men need to be reminded of what it’s like for women and that violence against women is not a joke. All women have probably felt unsafe at some stage of their lives when alone or near a man they don’t know. I can attest to this, it can feel very uncomfortable. This makes me think of the analogy that trended on social media, particularly on TikTok; would you rather be alone in the woods with a man or a bear? Which do you think was overwhelmingly chosen? The point is, that a bear would either leave you be or kill/eat you. A man could do much more than just kill us, that’s what’s scary.
Sometimes to be heard, we need to cause these awkward pauses. We need to make men think and consider what it’s like from our perspective. Therefore, I stand with Saoirse and commend her for stepping up to defend the women watching from the audience and at home, too.