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Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Between your heavy workload and lack of reliable transportation, you don’t get out much. Usually you don’t mind, but lately the rolling green hills and cobblestone walkways just aren’t doing it for you. You’re in luck—Jupiter’s unusual position this month means a night on the town is coming your way!
Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Libra’s symbol is a set of scales, but balancing just isn’t your thing. And we’re not just talking about time management. Girl, you’ve been tripping up! Luckily Mercury is finally moving out of it’s precarious allignment, which will not only kick your clumsy streak but also give you some sweet moves on the dance floor.
Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
No need to be humble, last year on campus you were a fashion icon! You even set a trend or two (cutoff shorts—totally your idea). But these past few weeks you’ve hit a wardrobe roadblock. No need to worry. Venus is closer to Earth than ever before, bringing style inspiration galore!
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
With Neptune so skewed from it’s typical allignment, your eating habits have been off as well. Take a break from Commons and drop by The Union for a meal or two. The change of pace will energize you just in time for that party you’ve been waiting for. Oh, but remember to skip the toga this week. The sheet fad ended long ago.
Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
You had a wonderful Summer filled with great times and great friends. And while you’ll never forget the memories you made with your gal-pals, you’re ready for something, well, other than friends. It just so happens that Uranus is alligned perfectly with the Moon to make some magic happen for ya. Be on the lookout for some romance in your life, or at the very least a DFMO (Dance Floor Makeout).
Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
As an Aquarious, witty one-liners are second nature to you. Unfortunately, your star sign also gives you a shy predisposition. Saturn’s position in relation to the moon is prompting you to get over that. Bless Yik Yak with some of your hilarious quips every now and then! Your fellow students will be greatful for your humor and your Yak score will skyrocket.
Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20
You’ve always been a social butterfly, but all of your chit-chat in the Lib has been getting in the way of your studying. Not to worry—Pluto (yes, it’s still a planet) decrees that you will be hyper focused in the months to come. That is, as long as don’t sleep through your alarm again. Take all that into consideration and you’ll be getting straight A’s for days!
Aries: March 21 – April 19
Your Webmail account was starting to seem like a never-ending pile of obligations, so you’ve taken a break from it for a while. Fair enough, but the Andromeda galaxy decrees that it’s time to check back in with your old pal. There’s some pretty important stuff waiting in there. You may have even gotten that callback, and you definitely got that invite to Bee Club.
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
There’s been all this sunny weather lately, but between your dorm and Chambers and the library and back again you haven’t had any time to enjoy it! Not to fear, the Sun’s allignment in relation to Neptune is clearing out your schedule next weekend. Look forward to clear skies and fun times before the leaves start to fall.
Gemini: May 21 — June 20
Friends, flings, fashion—is there anything you don’t have Gemini? A lucky meteor passing by affirms that the answer is no. Unfortunately, that shooting star is fading fast. Find some fun clubs to sign up for before your fated fun runs out. Oh, and stick to the cobblestone this week. The campus skunks are especially rampant and they’ve got their eyes on you.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
You’ve been feeling a little down and out as of late, but all that is about to change. With a little celestial help from the Big Dipper and a lot of help from your friends, you’re about to have what will likely go down as one of the wildest weeks in wildcat history. Just make sure you visit the campus Labyrinth for some quiet time after all is said and done.
Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22
Let’s get straight to the point: you’ve been avoiding a CVS run for far too long. Not to worry, it happens to the best of us. Luckily the Draco constellation’s got you covered. The same problem will soon arise in a friend of yours and you’ll get to make the oh-so-long trek together—and maybe run into some campus cuties along the way!