As an unsuspecting first-year, you eagerly awaited the beginning of spring, which you innocently thought would bring warm weather and this “frolics” business everyone couldn’t stop talking about. Little did you know that March would bring something much smaller, yellower, and much, much more sinister.
I’m talking about the inchworms.
Yes, you should run in fear. But be careful where you run, because those little devils are EVERYWHERE. You might as well give up.
You might wonder how these worms seem to defy the laws of physics by suspending in thin air when there’s no tree close by.
You might wonder what the protocol is for telling a stranger that she has a yellow monster in her hair about to get into her ear.
You try to find the humor in the situation when you see the naive first-years freaking out because, WHAT ARE THESE THINGS?
But even after four years of dealing with the inchworms, you’re still the victim of an inchworm assault at least once a day.
Objectively, the inchworms could be cute. But in reality, they’re horrible.
And you want to swat them all off the face of this earth.
So here’s to inchworm season and discovering you’ve had a plus one on your back for an entire day. Good luck friends.
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