Just kidding, I did not meet my husband on Tinder; I just wanted you to click on this article! But just between the two of us, I’ve never been rejected on Tinder. Also between the two of us, while I may be chronically single, I have no intention of meeting anyone on Tinder. Really…well, besides the Tinder soul mates that I find every two to three days.
In case you don’t know, Tinder is a dating app targeted at young adults based solely on physical appearance and a short bio. And by physical appearance and a short bio, I really just mean physical appearance. In order to pass Tinder 101, you just need to know this: if you “like” someone’s pictures and they “like” your pictures, then you get a match, and can start talking through the app.
So essentially, Tinder can be one huge ego boost. It can also be a massive time suck, and extraordinarily entertaining. Here is just a sampling of the best (and by best I completely mean worst) opening messages I’ve received from guys:
- Hey (generally followed by a few extra y’s so as not to seem too formal)
- If you were sin2x and I were cos2x, together we’d make one
- What’s up babe
- Anyone ever tell say you look like Lorde, but more attractive?
- What are my chances?
- Can I use your thighs as earmuffs
- Sooo…do you play flappy bird?
- Meow meow
- Seems like we are both DTF, question is when and where?
If you can’t tell by that last opening line, Tinder can get weird fast if you let it. I am very reluctant to give out any more personal information such as my last name and my phone number to anyone I find on the app, even if I do have a known mutual friend with them. However, once this hot Swedish guy getting his MBA at Duke (too perfect to believe, I know) gave me his full name for me to friend him on Facebook, so, after lurking around on his locked profile I sent him a friend request. He accepted less than a second later and proceeded to like a number of my pictures, so I unfriended him promptly upon realizing exactly how strange that situation was.
Then there are, of course, Tinder soul mates. These are the people who you share a conversation with that lasts more than a day, and the only people from Tinder I would even consider meeting. And trust me, I have considered it. I have received open invitations to UNC Chapel Hill, Appalachian State, and to the Kennedy Complex on Cape Cod (like, actually). If any of my soul mates offered to drive to Davidson and take me to coffee or to dinner or to the Corner Pub, I would probably say yes. Okay, scratch that, I would not go on a date to the Corner Pub.
But at the root of every Tinder conversation is the knowledge that you and your match got that match because you find each other attractive, and I am going to argue for a second that this spurs a momentary lapse in self respect every time us collegiettes respond to a guy’s “heeyy :),” or when we worry about them not responding to our greeting. Yes, Tinder is partially about sexual liberation, and we are hot and we know it, but we are also more than just our pictures. So sure, respond to the “hey”—tell them exactly what is up, fight a cheesy pickup line with another cheesy pickup line, but be safe about it. Bring a friend the first time you meet a guy, or at least let someone know where you are going. Don’t send nudes to a stranger. If you do send nudes, don’t include your face in them (or just don’t send nudes). And most importantly, feel free to laugh at this entire article. Do what you want and enjoy the eighth wonder of the world that is Tinder.