Aries: March 21 – April 19
“Think… Think… Think…” was the slogan of childhood icon Jimmy Neutron. But when it comes to you, Aries, you need to do everything but think. You’ve been overanalyzing every human interaction you’ve had lately, and frankly, that sort of approach is not healthy. Stop overthinking! Local solar flares ensure that people’s intentions are simpler than you presume. Put your mind to rest, eat a slice of pie, and take a nap. It’s all a lot less complicated than you think it is.
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
If our consultation with the stars is correct, you recently celebrated, or will celebrate your half-birthday! What’s that? You weren’t planning on formally celebrating your half-birthday? Please reconsider. You’ve been working so hard lately, and your friends are itching for a bullshit reason to party. Hunker down and throw a bash! You’re the biggest bull of them all, after all.
Gemini: May 21 — June 20
Those Yik Yaks you expected were about you? Yeah, they definitely were. But instead of fretting, embrace the notoreity! The important part is that you’re happy with where your life is, and what other people have to say about it on an anonymous platform is pure poppycock. Also, be on the lookout for a man flying around on a Vespa; the Andromeda constellation is sending some weird dreams your way.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
You’ve got a lot of the “L” word in your life lately: Library. But between the books, you’ve had no time to focus on the other “L” word—Love. Never fear, tiny green aliens on Pluto are doing the work for you. So the next time you’re in the library and you’re suddenly stricken with an extraterrestrial dosage of love potion, prepare to get swept off your feet. Luscious, Luminous, Lovely Love is coming your way.
Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22
Feeling anxious about finals? Feeling anxious about the future in general? Never fear, Jupiter, the planet of excellent jam music is alligned with your personal moon. Next time you’re feeling like all hope is lost, crank up your Spotify Discover Weekly™ playlist, take a dance break, and sing along at the top of your lungs. There’s something scientific about adrenaline and endorphines and what not, so that will probably kick in and change your mood entirely.
Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Virgos are known as being the kinkiest of star signs, but lately, your life has been anything but! Thankfully, a hyperspeed meteor is firing directly through your personal celestial map, which will send ripples through your love life. Who knows what’s heading your way? Maybe your kink will be Jedi roleplay. Maybe your kink will be a DFMO to an Irish jig band. Only the stars can truly tell.
Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Your life is all about balances, but lately it’s been a little too stable. Sure, seeing the fam over break was nice, and yes, your friends not having drama for once in their lives does take a little stress off your shoulders, but you miss the fireworks! We don’t blame you. That’s why we at Her Campus put in a special request with Pluto, the planet of parties. Get ready for the rager of the semester! You can thank us later (In the Morcott Room, at 8 p.m, on Tuesday nights, to be specific).
Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
Scorpioh my gosh! Who even are you? We feel like you haven’t consulted your horoscope in months, which is a downright shame because you really could have used a bit of guidance along the way there. It’s okay though, we forgive you. Here’s a crash course: The person who you’ve been worrying about is A-OK, the thing you lost is in the place you last left it, and someone named Alfred misses you.
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Take a moment to go look at yourself in the mirror, and think about what you’ve done. Because chica, you did good! Aced that paper, wrecked that date, and killed it with that meeting with your professor. You’ve been soaring on a high sent straight from Saturn but watch out! Dangerous happenings are afoot. That’s not to say your luck as run out completely, but it wouldn’t hurt to take a few precautions in the coming days. Stay away from stray cats and suspicious ATMs.
Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
“Screaming, crying, perfect storms,” once said the wise Taylor Swift. She may have been referring to a relationship, but lately, that lyric has seemed to apply to every aspect of your life. We’re happy to report that you’ve officially shed your last tear of the finals season! Unless they’re tears of joy, that is. Mars, the planet of stellar grades, predicts a stellar report card flying your way very soon.
Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
You know what you want. You know how to get it. And you know what’s holding you back. Neptune, the planet of throwing caution to the wind, is urging you to go ahead and follow your dreams! So next time you’re at the Union Station, put your fear aside and purchase a King of Pops popsicle, either literally or metaphorically. You and your taste buds will be glad you did.
Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20
A certain someone has been a little absent in your life lately. Never fear, the rekindling power of Venus is here! Within the week, your pal (or lover) will touch base with you and all will be back to normal. In other news, congrats on finishing that daunting assignment! Maybe next time try giving yourself a little more time than before the morning it’s due to start it.