1. “Where are you going?!” “…Out?”
Whenever I go home, the weirdest thing for me is remembering to ask my mom before I go out. In my head, I’ve been going out and doing things for the last several months without asking her first. Why should I ask her now? In her head, I’m still her baby girl with a curfew who needs to be reminded to take a jacket.
2. “When are you going to sleep?” “…Later?”
Mom comes down at 3 a.m. to find me reading, watching videos, or FaceTiming with other college people whose circadian rhythms also haven’t quite remembered how to be normal. She’ll remind me to go to sleep every so often, even though that hasn’t been her job for months now.
3. “Who is that?” “…My friend?”
This goes for “Who are you texting?”, “Who are you FaceTiming?”, and “Who are you going out with?” Evidently, my mom still thinks she knows everyone I have ever encountered, like when I was 3 years old. Even into high school, she knew pretty much all of my close friends that I would hang out with on a regular basis. But, especially since I go to school out of state, she literally has no idea who anyone I know is. But she thinks she does.
4. “You should get some work done.” “K.”
Mom, it’s break. Definitely don’t need to do work. Definitely don’t need you to tell me to do work. Definitely not going to do work. This statement is usually preceded by, “How much/What work do you have to do over break?”
5. “Your room is a disaster! Is this how it is at college?” *no response*
I like my room the way it is. I’ve come to a good place where it can be disorganized enough to look like someone lives there but organized enough that I can find everything I need. I’m completely over having an aesthetically pleasing room, and I definitely don’t need her to police that part of my life.
6. “Do you know what time it is?! You are not going out!!” “Mom it’s 9 p.m.”
Her late = my early. She forgets that at college, no one goes out at 5 p.m. for parties like a kindergartener’s birthday.
7. “OMG, it’s 10 a.m., what are you still doing in bed?!” “…sleeping?”
10 a.m. isn’t even late, Mom. I have slept later, and I will sleep later. Break is my time to catch up on all of the sleep I haven’t been getting, and I will be taking full advantage of that.
8. “You’ve worn those jeans for the last week straight.” “And I plan on wearing them at least another three days.”
Not trying to do extra laundry at college if my clothes aren’t dirty. Some things just stick with you even when you go home. At least I change my shirt, bra, socks, and underwear, though.
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