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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Dartmouth chapter.

Just because something’s cute, doesn’t mean they’re innocent.

Here are 7 Scary Facts About Penguins that will change how you see Happy Feet forever.

  1. They care about the size of the rock —> There’s a concept that’s similar to engagement rings for gentoo/adelie penguins. When they wish to mate, they must already have a nest completed (to make babies). And, the more impressive the nest, the better chance of a mate. So, the best pickup line for a gentoo/adelie penguin is: “I’m gonna rock your world, birdie.”

  2. Female emperor penguins snatch babies  → If female emperor penguins’ offspring die, they have an instinct to steal another mother penguin’s child. One even accidentally stole the chick of their natural enemy — the skua!

  3. Molting process. Penguins gorge themselves to just not eat for a 2-3 week period. Binge eating and just… not….moving. What?

  4. Penguins don’t need to breathe. For 7 minutes while underwater. They’re practically bird-vampires. 

  5. You can see Emperor penguin colonies from space. They’re. Taking. Over.

  6. They don’t live in the North Pole. They live in the Southern Hemisphere.  They’ve lied to us for so long.

  7. They survived the DINOSAURS. The penguin’s ancestor SURVIVED the mass EXTINCTION of the dinosaurs. It doesn’t get more punk than that.

Are you terrified yet? You should be. Happy Halloween!

Sophia Whittemore is a Correspondent for the Dartmouth HXCampus branch. When not working on HXCampus, they're writing webcomics on Webtoons, Pride books for Wattpad, was a staff writer at AsAm News, and has published the "Impetus Rising" series back when they were in high school. Sophia's also a geek, but who isn't?