I hope this article title doesn’t give you the wrong idea — I’m not necessarily asking you to change who you are fundamentally in order to achieve your dreams. At the same time, though, it’s healthy to consider how aspects of your behavior may be holding you back from what you want to accomplish. Let me tell you, it’s so soo worth it to sit down with yourself or maybe a friend or therapist to discover what you truly desire, how you’re going to get there, and try to take down any roadblocks preventing you from getting there (some that you may be putting up yourself!).
In my own experience, I’ve grown the most from taking accountability for my actions — in a loving, non-critical way — and asking myself some important questions.
Some examples:
● Is it possible that you’re letting your fear of your dreams manifest as procrastination?
● Are you working regularly on your personal and professional goals and measuring progress?
● Are you engaging enough self-care and making sure you’re motivated and happy?
In short, it’s important to be accountable for your own happiness and progress, and to check in with yourself regularly. Don’t be afraid to seek help often if you need it to become the best, most boss collegiette that you can be!
To keep you inspired and give you some more tangible steps, here are some main thoughts I have about dreams and change:
1) No dream is ever too big… and it’s never too late to get started on it
Think about the sort of life you would be living if there were no obstacles. The life you would have if you weren’t afraid that you couldn’t get there or didn’t doubt your abilities. Really visualize it… how good does it feel to imagine yourself there? It feels awesome, doesn’t it? Guess what? You deserve to feel that way in real life — you owe it to yourself to get what you want! It doesn’t matter if you’re a freshman in high school or a senior in college who feels like it’s too late. You have the rest of your life to keep trying, failing, and eventually succeeding — the process never ends! Keep that happiness that you visualized earlier in your mind as motivation and use it to get started and keep going.
2) Stay focused on your own path
Going off of the last step, it’s important to remember that everyone is on their own timetable and their own journey. It’s very easy to get sidetracked and sucked into other people’s lives because we compare ourselves to each other so much. Everyone is bombarded with images of other people’s lives on social media and T.V., which can definitely make you feel like you’re lacking in some way. As a remedy to that, let me link you to an amazing video by the entrepreneur/motivational speaker Gary Vaynerchuk. It’s called “The Ultimate Advice for Every 20 Year Old.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRj144Gd7EA&t=870s Sure, that girl on the ‘gram may seem like she has the perfect life, perfect body, etc. but at the end of the day, as Gary would so eloquently ask, “What the f*ck does that have to do with you?”. Now, to be clear, I’m absolutely not advocating for women to hate on each other, but we have to start killing toxic comparisons. We should support each other and root for each other, but at the end of the day, you are your own #1! Be invested in your own journey and passionate about your progress. It’s your life, live it!
3) Create a “Dream-Guide” and follow it ruthlessly
“Dream-Guide” is a term that I just made up, but the concept behind it is super important. It can take whatever form you want: visual, audio, or written, as a few examples. It’s not enough to have dreams, the point is to know how you’re going to get to your dreams. Many people follow the “S.M.A.R.T.” acronym for achieving goals: they should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. I find that to be really helpful because you can sometimes get overwhelmed by your huge, lofty dream and not know where to go next. If you’re feeling lost or scared, just make your goal as tiny as it needs to be to make a step in the right direction. Focus on that one step and do your best on it, and do the same for the next, the next one, etc.
I know all of this stuff is really weighty and can be scary. You will feel fear along the way — trust me, I do all the time. It’s 100% okay to be scared! It’s not okay to shortchange yourself and not live up to your potential. Challenge yourself, trust yourself, and see how far you’ll go :)