Exchange is an amazing experience…if you do it right for yourself.
What does this mean?
While I don’t think there’s a proper way of doing it, I can tell you what I think made my exchange so amazing and the reason I was able to call Bergen a home that is close to my heart.
For starters, as someone who lived in Halifax with her parents, this was going to be the first time I was going to be living by myself. This experience was going to be new and exciting…and scary. In the first few weeks of my exchange, when I was alone in my room, the weight of it all began to settle and I found myself absolutely terrified. I started counting down the days until it was going to be over. I didn’t understand these feelings, as I had never had them before. So, I just sat in my room in the presence of my own thoughts.
Then came the period of what I like to call; the art of adjusting. The adjustment period is often left out when talking about exchange and this can be scary. It’s when you’re figuring out how to grocery shop while you might not understand the labels, finding your favorite routes to walk to school, and enjoying being with your own company for a longer period than before. In the first week of classes, I had met a few friends in classes but I wasn’t using my tools to make long-lasting friendships which I knew I had. This may be a time where you’re in denial, and only thinking about friendships from home and sometimes comparing. Then you might start comparing everything and then you might get in your head about everything. *From experience, try your very best not to do this because this is where I specifically fell apart. *
I was uncomfortable and so I decided that I needed to lean into it rather than pull away. With this, I immersed myself in other parts of the world – I went to Amsterdam, Malta, spent some time in the north of Norway and then even Sweden. I noticed that as I went to other countries, I was trying to run away from the uncomfortableness of starting fresh in the country I was already in. I then decided to put my foot down and stay in Bergen. After all, I was super excited to be there but wasn’t feeling close to the place yet. Bergen is beautiful and there is something about the mountains meeting the water, however, I was still getting in my own head, and I would look at those beautiful big mountains and still count down the days till I would be back in Halifax.
The art of connecting is the next stage I moved into as I have myself the opportunity to really relish in my surroundings and spend time with the people who were around me. Please note: for me, I can honestly say this didn’t happen until the end of the second month of being on exchange. Personally, I remember the exact day and time when I “locked in” and realized what was going on and how excited I was to have the privilege of being on exchange and all the opportunities that I was very excited about. Sitting at a cafe, with my now best friend from Germany, Mia – we started chatting about how difficult the first month had been and started to realize that this was a joint experience. Even though exchanges are glorified and no matter where you might be, even in the most beautiful corners in the world, leaving your friends, your family and your home can be difficult once the adrenaline moves on.
Mia and I had quite a few revelations together – the main thing we realized is that we were in the same boat of not being present in our exchange, which meant letting ourselves fully be present with ourselves, with other people and with the beautiful mountains in Bergen. The art of connecting is something so beautiful because I found that I was growing so much more than I could imagine. That is one of the most important things about going on exchange or trying something new. When you put yourself outside of your comfort zone, you are bound to grow and feel even more connected to yourself.
The interesting thing about exchange is that it is only usually 6 months, so I feel like most people engage in small talk and ask questions regarding school and one’s background. I challenge you to try to get away from those questions and try to go deeper! 6 months may not look like a long period of your life in the grand scheme of things – however one decision and conversation can really affect the way you look at life.
In my third month, I had started connecting with myself so deeply that I began to get quite emotional over the fact that I was already halfway through my exchange. As someone who feels things so deeply, every time I thought about it, I would get very sad. Whenever I would express it in my head, I would try to switch the topics and constantly say “Be present, be present, be present!”…was that the right thing for me to do?…I’m not entirely sure, however, in that moment, it felt right.
The art of being present looks different for everyone, however, for me, in Bergen it looked a little like this; having routines (aka, Monday night dinners with Mia n Caroline), discovering very cool spots to study in Bergen, discovering new hikes and trying to fill time with exploring every chance I got <3 However, one of my favourite ways of staying present and staying in line with myself in Bergen was journalling whenever my feelings felt too much. Here are two of my favourite excerpts from my time in Bergen, which are almost two weeks from each other…
March 7th, 2023
I am building these awesome relationships with all these amazing people and then I leave in June. I am so beyond happy that I get to meet all these people, and new perspectives, and get to do these new adventures because I am growing so much as an individual. All the randomness in Bergen doesn’t feel random anymore. However, I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around the fact that one day this will all be gone and the only thing that will be left are the memories. I shouldn’t think of this so much and I need to continue living in the moment or I will mess something up for myself.
March 19th, 2023
Being on an exchange is an interesting experience. For starters, people who I met like last week (not actually, but you get the point) have become some of my closest friends and I have grown very fond of these individuals and I hope the feeling is likewise. Despite the different backgrounds & countries that they all come from, one thing that is noticeably in common is that everyone craves some sort of connectedness with others.
At the end of the day, connectedness with individuals is what makes a place feel like home, where home is not necessarily a place but the people who can make you feel comfortable and at home with yourself. I am definitely someone who fits in this category. I have connected with individuals here that at times it feels like I’ve known them for years and years.
When you stay in a place for 20 years of your life (like silly little Halifax), at times you can get so comfortable with the places, people and the environment that you eventually stop living and just exist. This sounds odd, however there is a feeling that life is continuous. However, when you are given an expiry date to an experience – in this case an exchange experience – you try to live everyday to the fullest and you appreciate everything in life. This includes the good, bad, the little and big things that everyone does and that a place holds because if you don’t then you feel like you’re wasting time.
Life is too short and that is something that everyone knows, however at times this can get lost in our subconscious and sometimes one can just be on a continuous autopilot. And by one; I mean me. Throughout my time in Bergen, I feel as though I’ve been appreciating more things in my life and this definitely has to do with the concept of an expiry date, because you want to make sure you’re doing enough while alongside school.
Life is too short and no matter where you are and even if there is no “end date”, I would like to continue carrying this mentally of living each day to the fullest and continue appreciating the little things in life because at the end of the day, that’s what life is about… right?
So I guess that leads to the question: what is life? After reflecting, Bergen is a place for me where I appreciate the rainy day a little more than usual because it makes the sunny days that much more special. I appreciate pausing life and taking in the beautiful mountains, my life and especially appreciating people and telling them why. Does that mean I figured out “what is life?”…no…not quite yet at least. So what is life? Well a wise person named Mia once said, it’s about asking the question, not finding the answer.
So what is this connectedness that individuals crave at times? There isn’t a one type fits all for this situation, however, I believe it includes appreciating someone else’s life experiences and seeing where they come from and potentially trying to relate to them on a deeper level. As well as understanding other individuals in a way that one may not even be able to understand themselves and trying to shine a light on these characteristics and acknowledge it. However, I think individuals tend to forget that you can have connectedness to individuals who are very much different than you. When you put your feet in another individual’s shoes, try to be sensible to them and see where they come from and if that other person finally feels seen, there is also a beauty in feeling the connectedness there.
Even though those excerpts were only a week and a half apart, it brings me back to thinking about how fast my life felt like it was changing, and a year later, I still whole-heartedly believe that appreciating life and the connectedness was my next step. The art of appreciating life was exactly what happened for the last 3 months of my exchange. The feeling of being on top of a mountain, feeling on top of the world and staring at those beautiful moments – without those loud thoughts and finally feeling at rest – oh my days…there is no better feeling.
Then finally, the exact thing I was most scared of happening, was happening…the goodbyes. Goodbyes have never been easy for me; however, this one would be the most difficult. The combination of moving back to Halifax, leaving my dearest friends and a place that finally felt like home was very difficult. To be honest, there are still days that I think about my time on exchange, and it still makes me feel homesick. Coming back to Halifax, where everything is the same, however, you feel very different (just like the “I went on exchange” memes ahah)…you might hop right back into your old routine, which is comfortable and confusing. I am here to tell you that I think you should process those emotions and try to feel the change. Exchanges are glorified for the amazingness that they are; however, no one speaks about how difficult it is to find yourself in your hometown.
This is a period I like to call the art of NOT comparing…please do not compare your experience and yourself, because I do not think that is fair. Exchange is such a unique experience and being abroad is such a unique experience. My advice is to take one thing at a time and live through your experiences! They are always going to be with you, document it for others, but most importantly for yourself and keep it close to your heart.
There are days when I think about Bergen, my beautiful connections, and I might shed a tear because it will forever be my second home <3. And so… What is life? As Mia says…” It is about asking the question, not finding the answer.”.
xoxo with lots of love,
Adora
PS. This article is completely based on my experience – your travels and exchange might look completely different than mine because there is no right way. If I can share one piece of advice, it would be: do not be scared of making connections with people, mountains and most importantly, yourself <3