So, you’re planning a study date with your Boo. Studying can feel exhausting, demoralizing, and downright unhelpful. What better way to brighten up that last minute essay than pulling an all-nighter with your partner? You’re going to keep each other on track, provide validation, and hopefully make studying actually fun, right! Right? Well, If you’re anything like me, that dream, aesthetic, romantic study date might not work out. Studying with your partner might seem like a good way to improve both your study habits while spending quality time together, but in reality, it’s easy to get distracted. Every time I “study” with my boyfriend… we always seem to end up in bed watching Lord of The Rings. I know I shouldn’t keep planning study dates, but I’m not willing to give up my time with him. So, as we enter into a new semester of studying and new relationships, here’s some advice on staying focused while studying with your partner.
1) Don’t study at home. When you’re at home, everything is a temptation. When I’m at my partner’s apartment, I always end up working on his bed – which always means we end up taking a nap (or watching the aforementioned film series). To avoid distractions, meet up with your partner in neutral territory. Find a library or a coffee shop that is far away from both of your homes.
2) Bring headphones. Headphones are the human’s version of spikes or talons. When we wear them, we express that we don’t want to interact with anyone else. Even though this might not be true in the case of a study date, wearing headphones can act as a barrier between you and your partner. If you turn to them and see they are wearing headphones, you’ll be less likely to distract them (and vice versa).
3) Face away from each other. Try and find a place where you aren’t looking directly at each other. The harder you make it to communicate with your partner, the better. When my boyfriend and I study at home, we have even set up desks across the room so we can’t see each other while we study.
4) You can’t cuddle and study. Sorry to break it to you, but holding hands, curling up or sitting in the same chair just isn’t going to work. You might think you’re just as productive with one hand incapacitated, but I promise you, you are not. No matter how hard you try, some part of your brain is still going to be paying attention to your partner’s movements, instead of focusing on the work in front of you.
5) Reward yourself (but not too much). It sounds silly, but my partner and I offer little rewards for each other when we’re working on assignments. If one of us gets an A on an assignment, we’re promised dinner and a massage. This isn’t a serious system (we make each other dinner and give massages to each other all the time) but. somewhere in my brain, it provides the extra encouragement I need to power through my work when my boyfriend is sitting right next to me. So, make a reward system with your partner. It gives you something to look forward to, and pushes you to work harder.
6) Push each other. Hopefully both you and your partner are academically focused, because having someone who cares about their work as much as you do is incredibly helpful. You don’t have to be interested in the same things, or even have the same goals, but if you’re both hard workers, you can push each other to do your absolute best. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner that you want to work for a little bit longer. It’s likely that if you keep working, they’ll want to keep working too!
7) Help each other study. When you’re at the end of your rope and you never want to look at your essay again, having another set of eyes can be a lifesaver. Ask your partner to edit your essay, or to read you flashcards. Not only is this helpful for you, but it might also provide your partner with a moment to clear their own head and take a break from their work. Just remember it goes both ways: they help you, and you help them. Make sure you leave time to help them with their assignments if they ask you to.
It would be hypocritical of me to say that you shouldn’t study with your partner. But it’s important to learn how to maintain good study habits with them, especially if you’re in a long -term relationship. You can’t just give up a semester to have fun with your Boo, and neither can they. So, find what works for you, and make sure you leave plenty of time to relax and have fun.