There seems to be a common misconception about all single people – the belief that anyone single is actively trying to date. The possibility that a single person is happy existing alone seems to shock a lot of people or just does not cross their minds.
Sometimes, people choose to be single.
I went on a date a few weeks ago and realized halfway through the mediocre date that I was tired of dating. I was tired of all the small talk, awkward encounters, weird DMs and ghosting people after losing interest. I decided I would rather just stop looking and be happily single for a while. Since having this revelation, I’ve noticed that a number of single people, after expressing that they are not in a relationship, are subject to a couple reactions.
The most common response is the assumption that you aren’t choosing to be single; instead, you just couldn’t get a date. In reality, some hot people are single. The fact that Emma Watson is single and describes herself as “self-partnered” proves enough that hot, successful and wealthy people can choose to be single. Not every single person is wasting away on dating apps. There are people not actively looking for a partner, meaning no dating apps, not responding to people sliding into their DMs and not going on dates.
The second type of response is being told you’ll find love one day and reassuring you that you’re beautiful. You tell someone you are staying single, and they remind you that you are attractive and beautiful, but this is completely missing the point. Choosing to be single does not mean that someone lacks confidence or needs to be told their soulmate is out there searching for them. Beautiful and confident people can choose to be single.
Choosing to be single is more about focusing on yourself. It can be time set aside to put more effort into friendships, explore new hobbies, focus on your studies and reach goals. It can represent a period of time meant for self-discovery. Choosing to be single is a power move by challenging the conventional expectations of all single people and the notion that to be happy, you need to be in a relationship.
Being willingly single makes sense, especially after a bad relationship. Being single can represent time to grow again as a person, rediscover what you love and maybe figure out some obvious red flags to avoid based on your ex. The person I was when I was in a relationship was constantly wondering why I wasn’t good enough, crying almost every day and putting my effort into a failing relationship, all while I let someone I thought I loved treat me poorly. It is not a coincidence that being single moulded me into a more confident individual. When being single feels better than being in your last relationship, it makes sense to prolong that newfound happiness.
So, let’s drop all this stigma towards single people and this assumption that we are all constantly seeking partners and love. People choosing to be single can still be happy, beautiful, and confident and don’t need reminders that their soulmates are just around the corner.
Don’t forget, Miley Cyrus’ Flowers is an amazing anthem for those who choose to be single.