Growing up as a middle child comes with many unique perspectives and lessons. Traditionally, middle children are thought to be the most self-reliant and independent, though often overlooked, as their older siblings are perceived as strong-willed and opinionated, while the youngest children tend to receive the most attention. However, growing up as a middle child, I did not find these stereotypes entirely accurate. Nevertheless, my relationships with my siblings have undeniably played a more significant role in shaping my character than almost any other relationships in my life.
Growing up I loved being the middle child, I found it to be the best of both worlds. I had the pleasure, joy and ease of being a younger sister, coupled with the excitement and responsibility of being an older sister. Through these different roles, I experienced valuable lessons that shaped my character. Having an older sibling taught me the importance of confidence and assertiveness while having a younger sibling taught me patience and creativity. As the middle child, each of my sibling relationships were uniquely shaped by our age differences, which provided me with a unique understanding of different relationship dynamics. In the middle, I grew up with two built-in friends, an experience that was an extremely positive way to grow up.
Though my separate relationships with my older and younger siblings taught me valuable lessons, my position in the middle was the most formative. Between two siblings with nearly an eight-year age gap, I often found myself acting as the peacekeeper. Positioned in the middle, by default, I became the common ground. I was very privileged to grow up in a positive sibling dynamic, with siblings who love and respect each other, although naturally in a family setting, conflict arises. The role of the middle frequently required me to mediate between my older and younger siblings or devise solutions that catered to both parties. As my siblings are so different in age, their hobbies and desires are more different, and in the middle, I could relate to each.
Although one might perceive the role of the middle as stressful, I always found joy in it and regarded it as invaluable. Navigating between two separate, both positive, relationships with my older and younger siblings naturally inclined me towards conflict resolution and compromise.
As I navigate through my early adult life, I notice some of these habits from my childhood resurfacing. Being a middle child taught me how to be more empathetic and understanding. In group settings, I often search for solutions or answers that appeal to the majority. I notice myself prioritizing the happiness of those around me, which often comes by trying to mitigate or manage situations that are not in my control. Learning how to be empathetic and kind, while still understanding that not everyone is going to get along has been challenging.
In hindsight, I now understand that though it is important to be kind and understanding to those around me, I additionally need to prioritize my feelings, boundaries and independence. Respecting and caring for those around you should not come at the cost of respecting and caring for yourself. A good sibling, friend, partner, etc, will be confident in themselves and their own decisions, and using that, will be kind and empathetic towards others.