Charlise Roth, my remarkable former roommate, possesses extensive knowledge in computer science and history, showcasing a unique blend of intellect and curiosity. She possesses a wealth of knowledge that could fuel a (really good) podcast and her fascination with the Roman Empire surpasses that of the average male. Beyond her academic prowess, she’s an invaluable friend, who has imparted extremely useful life lessons onto me. So useful, in fact, that I felt compelled to share them. Here are my favourite insights gleaned from our friendship:
- Shifting Consciousness for Problem-Solving
Char is constantly suggesting that, “You can’t solve a problem in the same consciousness that it was created”. According to her, changing consciousness allows individuals to approach challenges with varied viewpoints, enhancing the likelihood of effective resolutions. If you’ve created a problem when you’re in a state of anxiety, there’s no point in searching for a solution until you’re calm. If you’ve made an effort to work through a conflict only using one’s individual strategies, you won’t get far without considering another’s perspective. Shift your awareness, a better solution will manifest itself.
- Patience in Embracing Vulnerability
In a society that often values speed, Charlise emphasizes the importance of not rushing vulnerability. Genuine amenableness requires a safe and supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their true selves. Rushing vulnerability can lead to a lack of trust, as it may be perceived as insincere or forced. By allowing vulnerability to unfold naturally, trust can be established, creating a foundation for meaningful relationships. I can be an emotionally sensitive person, and Char has taught me that is more than okay. Together we’ve discussed how rushing vulnerability can lead to emotional overwhelm or a lack of readiness to face certain aspects of oneself. Building trust, nurturing emotional well-being, and fostering authentic connections are just a few of the benefits that arise from embracing vulnerability with patience and authenticity.
- Certain Moments Only Exist in Our Memories
On a particularly unique Saturday night, without too much thought, Char voiced: “These are the kind of things that only exist in our memories”. I whipped out my phone so quickly and wrote a one-sentence note: “The things that only exist in our memories”. This eloquent statement, “certain moments only exist in our memories”, suggests that there are experiences or events in our lives that hold significance and meaning solely within the realm of our personal recollections. These moments may not be captured or preserved in any tangible form, such as photographs or videos, but they remain alive and vivid within our memories. Some moments are so deeply personal or fleeting that they cannot be fully shared or understood by others. They exist solely within the confines of our own minds, shaping our perceptions, emotions, and understanding of the world. Additionally, the statement may also imply that memories have the potential to be selective or subjective. Our recollections of events can be influenced by our emotions, biases, and interpretations, leading to variations in how different individuals remember the same moment. Now, we use this statement frequently. If something bad happens that we truly can’t comprehend or justify, we just settle that the event only exists in our memories. If we forget to take photos or keep tangible records of significant events, with full hearts and no disappointment, we agree that some occurrences are so purely good that they can only exist in our own minds.
- It’s All about Noticing
Drawing inspiration from Donna Tart’s “The Secret History,” Charlise recognizes the power of observation in understanding motivations and unraveling mysteries. Observation, perception, and the consequences of romanticization are integral to her philosophical considerations. Lovers of this novel can, without difficulty, compare Char to the protagonist, Richard Pappen. Through Richard’s observations, the reader gains insight into the characters’ motivations, secrets, and the dark events that unfold. Richard’s ability to notice and analyze the subtle nuances of his surroundings becomes crucial in unraveling the mysteries within the story. Observation, perception, and the power (or consequences) of romanticization: Char understands and regularly considers these rationalities.
- Fully Embrace What Brings You Joy
Immerse yourself in the enchanting world of your favorite movies, allowing their captivating stories to unfold before your eyes time and time again. Allow the melodies of a cherished song to accompany you on a journey, play it three times in the same drive if you have to. Indulge in the unconventional pleasure of savoring a bowl of delectable baked potato soup for breakfast, succumbing to your morning cravings without hesitation. Fearlessly venture across campus, draped in cloaks and carrying lightsabers, disregarding the watchful gaze and opinions of others.
Ensure that every night reverberates with your echoing laughter, melodic singing, and exhilarating screams, until your voice resounds huskily in the silence. Devote yourself to midnight escapades, engrossed in captivating binge-watching marathons that extend into the early hours of morning. Satisfy your palate with warm, gooey cookies extracted fresh from the oven. If you find solace in the embrace of period dramas, immerse yourself in their intricate tales, indulging in an endless collection of these captivating narratives. If a fantasy novel offers an escape from reality, gather an arsenal of these literary treasures as if they were infinity stones. Infuse your living space with an unrelenting fervor for decoration, transforming each seasonal transition into a joyous occasion that warrants celebration.
Charlise not only recognizes the splendor in these experiences, but wholeheartedly embraces them without hesitation or doubt. Individuals like her infuse life with meaning and purpose, reminding us of its inherent beauty and joy.