At one point or another, everyone has felt lonely. It’s quite an unpleasant feeling. Even if you’re surrounded by thousands of people, it can still reach you. Loneliness doesn’t discriminate. It’s easy to feel being or isolated when what feels like everyone around you is doing different things, in relationships, surrounded by lots of friends. As someone who has just begun their twenties, it can be difficult to navigate the multitudes of decisions and life experiences thrown at you.
It’s easy to feel lonely and have lots of FOMO (fear of missing out) when it seems like everyone around you is doing all these different things or has these big friend groups on social media (or in person) and it can really affect our perception. I constantly feel as if I am missing out on something. The more and more time I spend scrolling on social media, the more distracted I feel about what I actually want to do and sends me spiraling with ideas of what I think I should be doing or how I should be spending my time.
But what exactly is ‘loneliness’? Loneliness is often described as a subjective feeling of being alone or isolated from others. But it can also be the displeasure with what you have in your personal relationships in comparison to what you want. I know that I’m not alone in these uncomfortable feelings, so why do we feel so alone? How do we navigate loneliness? How do we feel less alone? In my limited lived experience, I’ve come to a few conclusions.
I’ve found/observed that most of us spend all of our time looking at other peoples opinions or craving their validation. Not often, will you find someone who actually enjoys being alone with themselves. It almost feels as though no one really wants to do anything on their own. However, I think that spending time alone can be really beautiful. It encourages us to become familiar with ourselves and spend time getting to know who we are or who we want to become. It gives you space to learn about what you like or don’t like. It also allows you to reflect on what you value and what’s important to you.
While it can feel uncomfortable or isolating at times, it’s important to spend time alone with yourself to discover who you are and eventually become confident in yourself and who you want to be as a person. Additionally, it’s important to recognize that you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. It happens to everyone and is totally normal to experience. sometimes it can be difficult to shake the feeling so over the years here are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned:
- If social interaction feels too overwhelming, go somewhere where other people are present but you still have the ability to sit on your own, such as a cafe or a library.
- Spend time with people you love – spending time with loved one helps us reconnect with ourselves and feel more grounded
- Try something new – trying new things encourages us to be ‘bad’ at things and most likely you aren’t the only one who may struggle with a new activity and you can create community through that.
While spending time alone may not sound like the most exciting activity, it is beneficial to practice once in a while. It is important to remind ourselves and each that despite how you may feel; we’re all on our own journey and how we navigate it is up to us. When we lean on our communities and the people around us, it can be really beautiful to see how connected we all really are. Please remember that you are never truly alone — no matter how isolated you may feel. I hope this article gives you some insight on how to navigate this weird world we live in.