Your Ex's New Bae: They Aren't The Problem, You Are

We all know why we hate your ex’s SO.  Those reasons are obvious. The trouble with dealing with this in college, especially if you live in a college town, is it’s not who they are. It’s whom they’re dating, and that is not their fault.

Regardless of if you still have feelings for someone or not, it’s always a bit of a sting when you find out that they have a new fling and even worse when you have to see them around town. What my biggest issue has always been is my distaste for the girl and when I discuss it with my friends and they tell me how ‘nice’ she is. I’m sure she’s nice. You wouldn’t date someone that dates mean girls. But because you have these feeling of resentment towards this ‘nice’ person, who I have never met, nor even had a conversation with, you have officially become the ‘mean’ girl.

All this person did was exactly what you did when you first met your now ex. Smile when they texts you first, get excited to meet their friends and love it when they showed you off. In my case, I didn’t have to deal with some girl give me major side-eye while stirring her vodka-cran. And now this nice person who everyone seems to think is just fine is a nuisance to you for what reasons exactly?

Are you jealous? Bothered that it isn’t you? Mad that they found someone new before you did? This reasons as well as a number of other reasons are perfectly good ones to be a little petty when in their presence. The problem is, even if you aren’t all of these things, when you can’t stop pointing out how much better you are, you look like you have to prove it to everyone else. Pointing out how much cuter you are to your friends is fine, but don’t drunkenly express it to their's. Pointing out what a catch you are, is absolutely something you should be doing. Rock your success and never be quiet about it, but don’t do it to compare yourself to someone else. Doing so literally takes away from how bomb you are.

The fact of the matter is, things did not work out. Someone had to move on first and this time it was them and that doesn’t make you any less, or any more of a good person because of it. If you live in a college town and have a slim chance of finding someone new, that’s probably a good thing. Focus on getting on the Dean’s list and getting the hell out of their so you can move to a big city and find someone who knows no one could ever compete with you.