After being in a relationship for four years, I’ve noticed that Valentine’s Day has brought me different feelings each time around. The first year that my boyfriend and I celebrated, the day was filled with gifts, surprises, and the foo-foo emotions that people think of when they think of Valentine’s Day. This year will be the fourth Valentine’s Day we’ve spent together and the plans that we have set may not be so stereotypical. No dinner reservations, no big gifts, maybe just some candy, a card, and a homemade dinner for two. Honestly, I prefer it that way!
Although we aren’t dressing up and making a big deal out of this day, that doesn’t mean we like each other any less. I attribute my change in attitude toward Valentine’s Day to my change in my “love language.” The years of college bring drastic changes in people. People establish values, things that they find important. Don’t get me wrong; I love dressing up and going out together, but it’s not how I feel loved. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, explains in his book that people can categorize themselves within a primary love language. Whether you feel loved by Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, or Physical Touch, it’s important to recognize what is important to you and your partner in a relationship.
Even though my love language has changed and Valentine’s Day isn’t a huge deal to us, that doesn’t mean I love my guy any less. Long story short, whatever you and your boo do (or don’t do) on this holiday won’t make or break your relationship, but make sure to let them know how much you mean to them!
Here’s a quick run down of a few examples of the 5 Love Languages in a college relationship setting. Identify which one of the following scenarios you’d like the most and bingo! That one is most likely your love language!
· Words of Affirmation: having your significant other tell you how pretty you hair looks
· Acts of service: your boyfriend washing your car instead of sitting inside and playing video games
· Receiving Gifts: a bouquet of flowers “just because”
· Quality Time: watching movies, playing board games, and cooking dinner together to enjoy each other’s company
· Physical Touch: holding hands while walking through Fred Meyer
You can also discover your love language by taking the official quiz here: www.5lovelanguages.com