Ah, college, a land of education, tears, and public restrooms. If you’ve ever lived in a dorm or just spent a lot of time on campus, you know that privacy when using the restroom is a luxury you never thought you’d miss so much. Being in my second year in the dorms, I’ve seen a lot. From wet hair art on the shower stall walls that rival Picasso, to grown women still unable to grasp the concept of flushing the toilet. The experience has not only been traumatizing but also has built a resilient character within me. While having my primary toilet shared with eight other girls is not what I’d call ideal, I’ve learned to love the community the shared latrines have created and gained an appreciation for a good bathroom on campus. In this article, I will detail my favorite bathrooms I have found here at CWU, and while that may contradict my desire to find some peace and quiet, I am a woman of the people and it is my responsibility as a student writer to share my wealth of knowledge.
Third Floor Brooks Library Restrooms
A classic, blue tile walls make for excellent mirror selfies, which is a crucial component when ranking these bathrooms, and the bright cerulean contrasts nicely with about any outfit. Not to mention the full-length mirror, which is always a bonus. When it comes to actually doing your business though, I heavily stress the third-floor aspect. While the first and second floors also offer an aesthetically pleasing experience, they are far busier. The third floor is often quiet enough that you can spend time in there and not have to worry about being intruded in upon.
Panda Express Bathrooms
Now it was almost given that these lavatories would make the list, being some of the newest on campus they offer big, long doors with not too much space underneath or on the sides for awkward eye contact with passing strangers. Obviously being more modern they have a sleek, clean feel to them, and while the number of stalls I feel like could be higher if you can snag one, they do offer a peaceful place for a piss. But more often than not you will be joined by a comrade or two seeking the same peace. That being said if you are alone, or bold enough to do this with others observing, the mirror pic lighting is excellent and provides a simple, monochromatic backdrop.
88.1 The Burg’s Bathroom
Now this one is a conditional bathroom for sure, during office hours you have people milling about right outside the door and if anything goes south, there’s no covering it. That being said though, after hours it turns into a sanctuary. With nearly no one in the office, it is not only private but plays nice, burg music. The supply of magazines from nearly 10 years ago offers a blast from the past and a break from scrolling Twitter while on the sh*tter. Unfortunately, it does not rank very high for mirror pics, as the lighting is not ideal and the mirror isn’t very big. None the less, it’s essentially the closest you’re going to get to your bathroom at home, but again conditional because you must be a member of the burg to access it.
Second Floor SURC Bathroom by the Tour Office
Wow. Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, when I discovered this bathroom for the first time a few weeks ago I was thoroughly surprised and pleased. With enough stalls to fit a whole classroom, this lavatory not only offers privacy but options. The mirrors are exemplary to show off a good fit by facing each other to get a front and back view, with excellent lighting as well. They even go so far as to offer seating and couches in the back, adding to the experience of peak SURC luxury. Not to mention the fact that even though this bathroom has the largest capacity I’ve seen on campus, it is often empty. A holy place of defecation.
Any Bathroom in The Bassettis
Now that I've gone on about my favorite restrooms, I thought I'd throw one of my least favorites in the mix as well. As a former resident of Davies Hall, I can attest that these bathrooms are not only gross, but also disgusting! The infamous hair art was burned into my memory in those very showers, and it became truly apparent that grown women really don’t know how to flush. Other residents used the trashcan as a dumpster, often resulting in a less than delightful smell and during a hailstorm, the metal roof makes it feel like we were under attack by the British. 10/10 would NOT recommend.
I hope that you will do with this information as you will, and if you see me in these hallowed halls to bid me a greeting. As the extensive research I have done for this article was and forever will be for the people. Going to the bathroom is a human necessity and to do so in less than ideal circumstances is not something I would want for my people. So, go forth, find your humble sanctorium, and live your best life.