Usually, when faced with decisions it takes me some reflecting before I figure out a line of action. Sometimes I make a pro-con list, ask others for advice, or google my dilemma hoping that someone else has experienced my dilemma and shared feedback on how to respond well to it. While these are sound options, I’ve compiled a list of questions that I’ve noticed have helped me discern what to do in various situations. Hopefully, at least one of these will be of good use to you!
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What makes me feel most calm?
If you’re a tad indecisive like me, you’ve probably experienced a ton of back and forth while thinking through different possibilities and outcomes of whatever decision is ahead of you. Whether big or small, I’ve found that answering this question has been able to help me make choices I wouldn’t otherwise be able to. For example, this past year I transferred schools. Over the summer, I was constantly weighing my options and made countless pro con lists. I wasn’t sure if I would regret leaving my school or if I’d regret staying. Ultimately, I chose to transfer to Catholic University because it was the result that made me feel more calm inside. I’m very happy with my decision!
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Notice how your gut responds to people or situations.
Have you ever been on your way somewhere or with someone and you get anxious? I tend to be a calm person inside and out, but I’ve definitely had anxiety in the presence of certain people or on the way somewhere. It’s not a traditional anxiety one might experience during a test or interview. This anxiety is your gut’s response to different situations at present and reacting accordingly.
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Does this further me?
This question is for relatively smaller dilemmas. For example, picking a self improvement podcast or your favorite playlist for your morning commute, or choosing to interact with people outside your own circle. In general, look at whether a decision outside your comfort zone will further you in your happiness and outlook on life.
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(If you’re religious) How does this act serve God?
If you’re religious like me, this can be helpful to make decisions because it alters your perspective on the situation and possible consequences of whatever it is you are faced with. For example as a Catholic, there is a lot of emphasis on “doing the right thing” or “practicing what you preach,” and to many people this means different things. Everyday we are faced with opportunities to do the right thing. Often this just means listening to our conscience or our instinct. If I’m faced with an opportunity to do good but I lack the motivation or the will, I just ask myself if not doing the kind act is something I might regret or if doing it is something that someone else might benefit from.
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Will I regret this? Will I regret not doing/not going to this?
Recently I was faced with the decision of participating in a school hosted social event or going to an academic lecture. I wanted to attend the academic lecture, but instead ended up attending the social event because one of my friends enthusiastically invited me.. In the end, I did regret not going to this talk because the social event didn’t turn out to be my scene, but it was unfortunately too late to leave for the talk. Funnily enough, because I regretted this decision, that experience was one of a couple that led me to take note of how exactly to make decisions for myself. It’s definitely hard in college when there are so many options for how to spend your Thursday evening.
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Imagine yourself as the main character of a movie.
When I’m in the audience of a film rooting for a character to make the right decision, I at least have a sense of what he or she should not do. As a last resort, I try to imagine myself as an audience member watching my life play out, examining the outcomes. This tactic has always been good at helping me clarify and make healthy decisions.