My maternal Grandma Beth had five children—all girls, all of whom have different personalities and styles, and all of whom have unfortunately undergone a separation or divorce at least once in their lives. Not all of these separations have lasted, and not all of my aunts are still divorced to this day, but in witnessing the process of their healing, they have set the example for an abundance of individual strength.
To all the single ladies who raised me: thank you for teaching me to be comfortable in my solace.
My mom, the youngest sibling, has influenced my growth the most, although each of my aunts has given me perspective in their own ways. I was five years old when my parents divorced, and for nearly the last 15 years, my mom has been one of the most constant figures in my life. From learning to tie my shoes in ballet classes to checking and changing the oil of my secondhand ‘99 Chevy Tahoe, she was there, providing guidance. By no means have the lessons enforced always been taken lightly on my end, but as I have grown older, I am endlessly appreciative of her patience. I know it isn’t always easy.
It is predominantly through my mom that I have become the independent, feminist woman I am. Being a single provider of two children forced my mother to harden; she needed to be a strong role model to her growing girls, and she is. Being reminded that “we don’t need no stinkin’ man” to fulfill our lives has always aided me in my discovery of self-sufficiency and has helped me create secure relationships with those around me. Some of the most significant advice that I have held with me is to understand there is a great difference between being alone, and being lonely. Encouraging the mindset that there can be comfort in the discomfort of solitude is a wonderful way to accept that the only truly constant figure in your life is yourself.
To all the single ladies who raised me: your creativity is inspiring.
There are a lot of unique, creative minds between my mom and her sisters. For much of her life, my mom pursued interior design, and through this, she learned the ins and outs of color theory and interior architecture. Each of my aunts shares the same love for the arts that my mom does. While I have a deep appreciation for all of the things that each of my lovely aunties have done for me, my aunt Kerri really paved the way for me as an artist specifically.
Kerri worked in male-dominated industries for most of her life, starting from 15 years old, which I can relate to. While working jobs at auto body shops and construction sites, Kerri also made artwork. She was magnificent at sculpture and decided to pursue her bachelor’s degree here at the University of Colorado Boulder, with a focus in fine arts, having achievements like building a bench that was displayed outside the Hotel Boulderado for years. She had an eye for the things that many people overlooked and encouraged me to start paying closer attention to my surroundings. I remember for many years, she would gift my sister and me her one-of-a-kind original artwork and dolls that she created out of objects she found and other knick-knacks that she picked up in public places. It is these gifts that I cherish the most.
Aunt Kerri and Grandma Beth passed away in 2019 before I knew what I wanted to pursue and where I wanted to go to pursue it, but I think they both always knew I was going to end up in Boulder. By attending CU with a partial focus on the visual arts, I have the ability to presently incorporate and expand on Kerri’s powerful artistic ideas that she no longer has the capability to do. I hope I am making them proud.
To all the single ladies who raised me: your support has not gone unnoticed.
These wonderful women have shown me love for as long as I can remember. Whether it is through sending a short text message to remind me that I am valued, a brief one-on-one dinner visitation to let me know that I am not alone, or through motivational gifts such as the book, “Strong is The New Pretty,” they have always shown to be my most reliable support system. What was not taught to me by the men in my life was confidently picked up by the women, and for that, I could not be more grateful.
In such a tight-knit family of relatable, independent girls, I have heard firsthand about their experiences with isolation and how they personally persevere with their daily life after their partner is no longer around. One of the largest takeaways is to understand that only time has the space for you to grieve, breathe, and heal.
It is through their kindness to themselves during distressing times that have taught me to be kind to myself and to understand that we do not and will not ever need the validation of a partner for stability. Your validation alone has allowed me to grow as a person.
To all the single ladies who raised me: Happy Women’s History Month. If nothing else, you made history to me.