Here’s why that advice is the truth. Remember that I didn’t say it was good advice; I just said it was the truth.
It was the second semester of my sophomore year in college. I had just received a booty call from a guy I had been texting. I threw on my jacket and walked down the snowy, peaceful streets of Boulder. I knocked on the door, he answered, and we pretended to watch five minutes of a movie. Then we f***ed. After it was over, he asked, “So, are you sleeping over or leaving?” I told him I was going home and never heard from him again.
Did I want to hear from him again? Did I even like him? The answer to these two questions is NO and NO. However, the next day I wondered if he would text me. The sex didn’t make me like him. It just made me wonder. When women have sex, especially when they orgasm, their bodies are flooding with oxytocin, the bonding (aka “love”) hormone. This scientifically explains why we tend to get slightly attached or obsessive after sex. See, we aren’t crazy! We are all like this. We, women, gotta stick together!
Now here’s my first-date advice: Don’t have sex!
Now, I am not saying don’t have sex so that he will like you in the long run, you can bond, he can chase you, and play the games… NO! That is not at all why I say this. Don’t have sex on the first date so that you can feel empowered. So that you can remain in control. He could ghost you tomorrow, or you could date for three years and get married. Either way, let yourself naturally decide. Do you like this guy? Do you like hanging out with him?
I recently went on a first date and decided to have sex during the date. Was I planning on it? No. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. It was fun, and he made me laugh. Did I experience an oxytocin high after we were intimate? I may have. I am only a human woman. In this case, I had a great time with this guy, and it was worth some fun texting and an enjoyable first date. So, when he started to pull back, I had two choices. I could seek a release of oxytocin with another man or invest in a new vibrator.
It’s important to live a little and not always listen to my first-date advice (especially when I’m not even taking it). Whether you decide to sleep with a man or hold off is your choice, and there is no correct way to approach a first date. Just remember to seek oxytocin rushes with caution, nobody has power over how you feel and act except for you, and if you’ve seen the new Barbie movie, then you know to make an appointment with your gynecologist.