I’ve always been told I act “mature” for my age; employers, co-workers, family members, teachers, and peers have informed me of my developed demeanor. I can have adult conversations with people older than me, I know how to listen and speak at a higher level, I can be professional, and I’m very responsible in regards to every aspect of my life.
However, me being responsible and acting grown leads me to feel as though I’ve missed out on so many things in my life. There is something inside that warns me to be careful and make sure I’m always in control in every situation I am ever in. I need to feel in control in order to feel safe. So, I have never gotten wild at a party, I’ve never engaged in risky moments that make for a good story, and I never took a spring break trip with my entire friend group to Mexico in high school. Because I lack certain experiences, I feel as though I have missed out on the typical “high school experience”.
I know I am not the only one to feel this way. Since the emergence of social media, the need to feel grown has been prevalent in kids and especially in teenagers. I remember walking home from high school one time and I saw these two girls coming out of my local elementary school wearing pristinely white platform Air Force 1’s, Fjallraven Kanken backpacks, Lululemon leggings, Lululemon zip-up jackets with their hair perfectly either straight or curled, and makeup better than mine. This trend is common with our youth because social media teaches malleable youth (mainly young girls) that it is cooler to be old and they would be more valued by society if they began using photoshop and filters to enhance their pictures and selfies before posting them. Young girls and teenagers are being guided by social media to be grown and mature before they even hit the age of 15. Unfortunately, they are going to regret not enjoying their youth and childhood before it is over. By the time they reach 12 or 13 they feel the pressure to act as though they are 22 or 23. They have their entire life to be grown-ups. So, why rush it?
I can easily say this about 12 or 13-year-olds, but why do I believe I am the exception? I am not even 19-years-old yet and I convince myself I need to have this life all figured out. Why? I have time. I panic because I don’t know what I want to do with my life after college, I panic because I have yet to experience teenage love, and I panic because I don’t know what the rest of my life holds for me. I am still a teenager and I will be for a year more.
Movies and TV shows also set unrealistic expectations for their younger viewers. One Tree Hill is one of my favorite shows of all time but it set some pretty unrealistic high school expectations. Not many high schoolers are finding the loves of their lives in high school – much less get married (like Haley and Nathan). I know I didn’t. I didn’t get the opportunity to go on tour with a band in my junior year like Haley. I didn’t coordinate amazing concerts while I was in high school like Peyton. High school just wasn’t my time to shine. Again, I adore One Tree Hill so much, but it is not the only piece of media to set unrealistic expectations for teenagers and rarely portray an accurate high school experience.
It’s shows like New Girl (another one of my all-time favorites), movies like How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or books like Happy Place by Emily Henry that remind me that I’m not missing out on anything because I didn’t experience love or adventure in high school. My time just hasn’t come yet. The characters in New Girl are in their late 20s and early 30s when the show begins. Each and every character grows and finds their calling in life career-wise and love-wise. Nick Miller (Jake Johnson) didn’t discover he wanted to be a writer until he was in his early 30s, Jessica Day (Zooey Deschanel) didn’t become a principal until after years of being a middle school teacher, Winston Bishop (Lamorne Morris) was lost in his career until he entered the police academy in his early 30s as well, and Cece didn’t manage her own model company until she was in her mid-30s. Jessica Day and Nick Miller didn’t meet until their late 20s and they didn’t get married until their mid-30s.
Both Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) and Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey) in How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days had careers before they met and were also in their early 30s when they met. My point is that just because I haven’t experienced everything life has to offer at the ripe age of eighteen – I need to remember that my life hasn’t yet begun.
I’m so grateful that I am as responsible and mature as I am because I understand and take the time to understand so many things in my life that are overwhelming. It’s comforting to think that in ten years I will be 28-years-old and I will think back to now – remembering how grown I think I am. I’m learning how to take a step back and embrace my youth because right now I am experiencing some of the best years of my life. This is the oldest I have ever been and the youngest I will ever be again. I still have time. I am so young. We are so young.