Butterflies, endless affection, and boundless optimism – all signs you’re in the so-called honeymoon phase. It’s that exhilarating state where every glance ignites sparks, and each touch feels electric. The honeymoon phase is often romanticized as the pinnacle of a romantic relationship, where lovebirds bask in a state of perpetual bliss and infatuation. It’s viewed as a time when everything seems perfect, with partners seeing only the best in each other and effortlessly navigating any challenges that come their way. The honeymoon phase is perceived as a magical chapter, where every moment is akin to a scene from a fairy tale. Yet, behind its veil of bliss lies a labyrinth of questions: Does it truly have to end? Can love’s initial magic be sustained indefinitely?
Pascale Lane, a therapeutic relationship life coach explains that the honeymoon phase is scientifically termed “limerence,” characterized by prolonged excitement and chemical surges. Coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s, limerence involved acute yearning, obsessive thoughts, and emotional dependency. The phase is driven by dopamine and oxytocin, the brain’s feel-good chemicals, along with elevated cortisol levels. Increased levels of nerve growth factor (NGF) may enhance euphoria.
Many believe that this phase can’t and shouldn’t last forever, and that beyond the initial rush of emotions lie the realities of life, where challenges, conflicts, and responsibilities inevitably emerge. Maintaining the heightened level of excitement and passion may lead to burnout, and perceptions of one’s partner may not accurately reflect their true selves. The honeymoon phase is the exciting beginning that ends before the real relationship emerges. I have to disagree.
After having the term ‘honeymoon phase’ thrown at me in a joking manner, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and how I felt about it. After coming home from a party, a few friends, my boyfriend and I sat conversing in the living room. Of course, my boyfriend and I were acting like a total couple, giggling and smiling so hard it made your cheeks hurt just by looking at us. We were jokingly told we were in the honeymoon phase and that it’ll pass. It sort of felt like a backhanded compliment, like you could tell we were in love but also that it will end soon.
This began to worry me, and a sense of apprehension crept into my thoughts as I wondered what my relationship would end up looking like beyond the honeymoon phase. Doubts infiltrated my mind, questioning whether my attachment to the rush of emotions labeled me as immature in the eyes of others, and whether our bond was perceived as unserious. At times, I even attempted to suppress outward displays of affection, hoping people wouldn’t see our relationship as superficial and shallow. As time passed, I realized that I had been wasting precious time harboring doubts about fully embracing the honeymoon phase. I soon realized that the term ‘honeymoon phase’ didn’t end up applying to me. It’s been so long, and I still have all the symptoms of the butterflies, the giggles, and boundless optimism. People who don’t know me still tell me I’m in the honeymoon phase, and that honestly makes me happier than ever. It means my relationship is healthy, comforting and exciting, and I don’t want the honeymoon phase to end.
The honeymoon phase is an exciting start of a relationship, full of passion and closeness. While it may fade over time, many people want to keep that special feeling alive forever. Keeping that honeymoon magic going can bring fresh energy to relationships, making partners feel excited and grateful for each other time and time again. Additionally, maintaining elements of the honeymoon phase encourages partners to continuously prioritize each other, fostering communication, affection and mutual support, creating a relationship that withstands the test of time.