“What can I get you, sweetie?” The waitress took our order, her warm smile setting the tone for our meal.
My mother said, “She’ll have the chocolate chip pancakes, thanks!”
I glanced up at my mother, relying on her to speak for me, a pattern that has persisted since my early days in kindergarten. In those formative years, my best friend, Lauren, always spoke on my behalf. As I grew older, I continued to gravitate towards friends who assumed the role of my voice.
Why had I allowed others to use MY voice for ME?
I had believed that I was inherently a shy person, but according to Psychology Today, shyness isn’t something one is born with; it typically develops around 18 months of age. Shyness is often characterized by excessive self-consciousness and negative self-evaluation, which resonated with my experiences.
Serena Kerrigan is an influencer who lives in New York City. During her college days at Duke University, she proudly informed her classmates that her middle name was “F*cking.” Serena didn’t want to be just Serena Kerrigan; she was Serena F*cking Kerrigan. Her unshakable confidence was something I had never witnessed before. The key, she said, was to befriend yourself instead of perpetually self-criticizing. Rather than telling myself I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough, I began to draw from my inner Serena F*cking Kerrigan wisdom. I asked myself if I would subject my best friend to the same harsh statements I inflicted upon myself, and the answer was a resounding no. So, I learned to treat myself as kindly as I would my best friend. After all, I was the person I’d spend my entire life with.
College became my canvas for self-reinvention, mirroring the transformational journey of Serena Kerrigan. I might not always have been the loudest in a room, but I embodied quiet confidence. I embraced silence as a sign that I didn’t always need to speak. I saved my words for moments that were truly important and meaningful.
To all the shy girls labeled as quiet, awkward, or weird, I once stood in your shoes. I refused to let those labels define me. I discovered my voice, and you will, too. Stand before the mirror and encourage yourself to use it with pride, because everyone wants to hear what you have to say. And for those who don’t, they’re not worth your time. Surround yourself with people with whom you can be your authentic self in their presence. Those who know me well might even catch me in my kitchen, using a whisk as a makeshift microphone, belting out the lyrics of “Revival” by Zach Bryan.
“What can I get you, sweetie?” The waitress took our order.
With newfound confidence, I declared, “I’ll have the Eggs Benedict!”