On September 7, the University of Colorado Boulder held the “I Love Female Orgasm” seminar in its very own Glenn Miller Ballroom. I Love Female Orgasm is an organization designed to give college students the all-inclusive sex education course they never received in their own health classes.
A remarkable organization, I thought, but then I thought about all of the steps it must’ve taken for this to all be possible. First, the organization had to be created from someplace and built up over time. Then, obviously, they had to reach out to schools nationwide and gradually build up their vast network of connections. And of course, all of the meticulous scheduling, planning, and drafting of the presentation itself. The question I have is why it requires the formation of an entire organization, the scheduling of tour dates across the country, the lengthy coordination of times and locations, and the two-hour long presentation done over and over and over again—why it requires actions of such grandeur—to educate individuals on the basics of female pleasure.
Obviously, in no way is this a diss to the organization, but rather to our society and current sexual education curriculum for allowing such information to go uncovered for this long. For instance, imagine if the same organization came to campus to tell students how babies are made. Think about hundreds of students, approximately ages 18 and over, not knowing how babies are made and attending a two-hour seminar to get their questions answered about a subject that is the very foundation of life. If you’re thinking, This is ridiculous, think about how equally ridiculous it is that so many adults don’t know the basic anatomy of the people that literally make up 50% of the world’s population. And that includes individuals with vulvas, who have that anatomy on their bodies and still don’t understand how it works or what it’s capable of.
When sex is taught to students, it centers around the idea of reproduction. Our societal script of sex is between two cisgender, heterosexual individuals who engage in loving sexual intercourse for the purpose of conceiving a child. This is still important to know, but it just barely scratches the surface of everything there is to know about sex. Most sexual education curriculums don’t even cover consent, sex between non-heterosexual individuals, contraception, and, ultimately, the concept of pleasure.
During the seminar, a diagram of the interior female reproductive system was projected on the screen. The moderator pointed to different structures, asking the audience to call out the name of the structure he was pointing to. First, the moderator pointed to the uterus, then the fallopian tubes, then the ovaries, and, for the most part, those were identified almost unanimously. Then, he pointed to a structure just below that, and significantly fewer individuals could identify that structure as the clitoris. The moderator commented on our ability to recognize the fallopian tubes, saying something along the lines of, “You probably have this image in your head from health class,” and proceeded to make a gesture with his hands, mimicking a fallopian-tube-like shape. Then he asked, “Why is that an image you all clearly comprehend, yet that of the clitoris, an equally, if not more, important organ, goes unrecognized? I mean, nobody is going to be saying, ‘Oh yeah, touch my fallopian tube.’” This obviously yielded many laughs from the audience. Still, it did bring up a fantastic point: general in-school sexual education ends with penis-in-vagina reproductive intercourse, leaving a handful of individuals lacking vital information about sexual pleasure. If students were taught this information in school along with their teachings of reproduction, they would have safer, healthier, and more pleasurable sexual encounters throughout their lives rather than being college-aged students wondering where the hell the clitoris is.
This lack of education is detrimental, as it reinforces toxic gender roles and deems women and individuals with vulvas less than their male counterparts. A second moderator conducted another poll, where she began by asking, “In a traditional, heterosexual college hookup, who thinks that it is expected that the man will finish?” to which the entire auditorium unanimously agreed. Yet, when the same question was asked again, only this time about the expectation of the woman to finish, the entire room went silent. Literal crickets.
This phenomenon has been described by Lisa Wade, author of the book “American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus,” as the “orgasm gap,” referring to the tendency for female pleasure to be overlooked, specifically in the context of college hookup culture. Notably, there is a significant difference in the emphasis put on the male orgasm versus the female orgasm. This is obviously problematic, as it tells women and individuals with vulvas that their pleasure is secondary to men’s, thus perpetuating a patriarchal power dynamic with men holding positions of the utmost importance. I believe the exact commentary given during the presentation regarding this subject was, “This is absolutely not okay!!” I second that.
I also found it interesting to observe the actions of the individuals attending the presentation. I saw many groups of freshmen, giggling, taking Snapchats and BeReals with their friends and their newly purchased “I Heart Female Orgasm” T-shirts. Additionally, throughout the seminar, some men–rather obnoxiously–cheered in an incredibly exaggerated manner every time the word “orgasm” or “clitoris” was dropped. Finally, there were many interactive, free-response polls for the audience to respond to, created with the intent of discussing critical topics regarding sex and sexual pleasure. However, they were instead often met with silly, nonsensical answers. It made me think: how many of these people came to this seminar because they actually wanted to get something out of it, and how many of these people just saw the words “female orgasm” on a flyer and thought it was funny? Unfortunately, the ratio of these two groups is likely skewed toward one side, and I think it’s pretty obvious which one. It’s disappointing and honestly concerning how female pleasure is so seldom discussed in contemporary society that it has become such a taboo topic, with giggles arising at the mere mention of it.
Significant change is necessary within the American education system, specifically in its teaching of sex ed, to shatter gender norms and the orgasm gap and to leave all individuals with a complete, all-inclusive understanding of sex that goes beyond reproduction. I Love Female Orgasm is an outstanding organization that utilizes humor along with important education and environment, but the content discussed in their seminars should be treated as a baseline sexual education rather than supplemental, optional information. As we as a society work to squash the heteronormative and misogynistic nature of the American sex education curriculum, it is important for individuals like yourselves to attend seminars such as I Love Female Orgasm and support organizations that promote full and comprehensive sexual education that is not based on abstinence.