Just last night, I made some rookie mistakes at the bars on the Hill. I thought I followed all the rules: wear a cute jacket for the outdoor seating, leave your credit card at home, arrange a walk home etc. However, I learned these precautions were not enough. So here is a new list of rules and precautions for tackling Boulder bars for the first time.
1. Don’t pregame too hard.
2. Don’t show everyone your fake I.D.
3. Engage in small talk at all times to avoid the weird boy from your 300 person lecture.
4. If you see your boss or editor, politely walk away.
5. Don’t assume you need the drink a cute boy just bought you.
6. Don’t stand on the picnic tables, ledges or curb, everyone will be looking at you.
7. Don’t be rude to the person walking you home.
8. Don’t make out with a boy on the dance floor.
9. Don’t speak any louder than the people surrounding you.
10. Don’t stick around until the bar closes, nothing good happens after 1 a.m.