Movies and TV tend to portray sex and intimacy as something that happens when two people are naked and under the sheets. They show it as something that is purely physical and only occasionally romantic. But sex and intimacy aren’t limited to the four walls of your bedroom. They can happen anywhere, anytime, with or without clothes.
But how do you do that? The answer is simple: good ol’ foreplay.
Now, we usually think of foreplay as oral sex moments before the actual sex. We see it as the introduction to sex, the transition from cold to hot. However, that isn’t always the case. True, foreplay can be oral sex, but it can also be little gestures and acts of love throughout the day. It can be laughter, a deep, meaningful conversation, or the instant chemistry that sparks when you lock eyes from across the room. Foreplay can be anything and everything you want it to be. It isn’t limited by a singular definition. It is flexible and adaptable to every individual and every relationship.
Foreplay can happen outside of the bedroom, believe it or not. It can happen hours before you even consider sex, and it doesn’t have to end in sex, either. Foreplay can be another way of intimacy with your partner because you are intuned with their mind as much as you are with their body. It can create a deeper connection between you and your partner.
Here are some ways to take foreplay outside of the bedroom:
Teasing – My favorite way to tease my partner is with my underwear. Sometimes I’ll tell them straight out what I’m wearing under my clothes at the start of our date. This is especially great when I’m wearing a simple and casual outfit: it catches him off guard, and then it’s on his mind all day long. Other times I’ll make a game out of it. I’ll tell him to guess the color and offer a prize if he gets it right. If you want to try this out, be sure to have a bratty attitude, especially if your partner guesses wrong. It will frustrate them and make them want to rip your clothes off.
Kissing – Kiss your partner’s neck, cheek, forehead, the inside of their wrist, and anything but their lips. Or, you can kiss them, but lightly. Pull away when they start to deepen the kiss. The point is to deny them what they so desperately want. It will take a lot of self-control on your part, but the results will make it worthwhile. It will drive them crazy, and trust me when I say that the kiss they give you when you finally give in will make your toes curl.
Soft Caresses – Use just your fingertips, make light touches as you run your fingers across their arms, neck, face, and anywhere you want to. There is something loving and delicate about soft touches that pull at the heartstrings. And there is something sexually charged about the ghost of a touch; it’s a subtle form of teasing that will make your partner think of nothing but your touch. The world will quite literally fade away.
Random Compliments – This is especially effective if your partner is a guy. Guys aren’t used to being on the receiving end of compliments. They won’t hesitate to tell you how great you look, but nothing will prepare them for when you compliment them. If you’re aiming at a deeper level of intimacy, you can compliment little things, like how their hair looks or how pretty their eyes are. On the other hand, if your end goal is being naked under the sheets, be a little crude. Tell them how great their pants fit. Tell them how you love the feeling of their hands on you. Drop subtle innuendos, and guide their mind to the bedroom while also boosting their ego. Make your partner feel good about themselves; make them love their body (almost) as much as you love it.
When trying these out, you can make it as sexual or as lighthearted as you want. Don’t think that because you’re laughing that there isn’t any sexual tension. I personally believe that laughing with your partner is the most intimate thing you can do.