I have always considered myself a sentimental person. I frequently reminisce on the past: recalling memories good and bad. There is something special about memories around the holidays. For me, they are mostly positive and light hearted. I think of the smell of pine in my house, coming from the scented sticks placed in our fake christmas tree, not from a real tree. Or the sound of my mom wrapping gifts from behind her closed bedroom door. But most of all, I think of genuine happiness that comes from the warm feeling of the holidays approaching in a house full of love. Year after year, my mom always makes the holidays in our home feel warm and cozy by beautifully decorating almost every inch of our home.
I have since moved out of the house and into my college apartment, which means that the holidays look a little different this year. This year it looks like a Christmas tree decorated by my roommates and I, all new stockings for each of us displayed under our TV, and each of us decorating our rooms individually, trying to recreate a piece of home. However, some traditions will always remain the same.
As the holiday season approaches, I dig through my drawer full of seasonal Bath and Body Works fragrances, eager to find one in particular that I associate with sweet memories. As I smell this scent for the first time every year, I close my eyes and feel myself transforming into the little girl I was when I was introduced to it originally. That little girl shrieks with excitement as she was given her first ever perfume in the Winter Candy Apple scent.As I open my eyes, I smile because I know how blessed I am to have such fond memories of someone who I looked up to, even if it seems as silly as a $17 bottle of perfume.
I was so excited to receive my first bottle of perfume because it was my first “big girl” gift. It was given to me by my babysitter at the time, Macy, who I looked up to and absolutely adored. Macy watched my brothers and I a few days a week over the summer while my mom was at work. I took a liking to her because she was so kind and I could tell that she loved coming over to watch us. My brothers probably have different opinions, but I loved when she came over and viewed it more as us hanging out rather than the fact that she was paid to be there. I recall being able to see her from time to time even after the summer had ended because she was the daughter of my mom’s boss. I wanted to be like her because she was so cool to me.
One winter Macy had given my brothers and I each a gift for the holidays. In my gift was a bottle of the Bath and Body Works, Winter Candy Apple perfume. I was stoked to receive this as a gift because it was one of my first ever “big girl” gifts. Or at least that’s how I saw it. Finally I had something that made me feel more like Macy, since I knew she wore perfume also. I was not allowed to use it frequently, “only for special occasions” my mom said, since I was young and arguably didn’t need perfume at all.
The next summer, Macy didn’t come and watch us because my brother was finally old enough to keep an eye on us, and she had gotten a different job. I was sad because I wished that we were able to go and do fun things together again, like going to the pool, or going to get lunch. Macy felt like the older sister that I never had.
In March of 2018, Macy passed away unexpectedly due to a brain aneurysm. This was really hard for me because although I hadn’t seen her in a few years, she still really did feel like a big sister to me. I was obviously sad and had a really hard time processing this because it was the first death of someone close to me that I had ever experienced. I had so many questions that have still gone unanswered to this day. I am so happy that I was able to have a good relationship with her and have countless happy memories to look back on. I believe that it is so important for little girls to find someone that they look up to and admire. It is a beautiful part of girlhood. I would argue that some of my girly-girl traits came from moments we had together or things she had taught me.
So every winter when I pull out my Winter Candy Apple scented body wash and lotion, I think of Macy, who I looked up to and who encouraged me to be a girly-girl even though I spent a lot of time with just my brothers. And every time I go home to dig through my drawer, I find the original bottle of perfume which I refuse to use up because of how much it means to me. Every time I smile and feel grateful. Hold tight to memories like this, be scenti-mental, it’s good for the heart.