Dear Old Me,
It’s been awhile since we last talked, but a lot has happened. Remember all of those insecurities you had? Yeah, those have evolved to adapt to what has been going on in your life along with how society has transformed over the years. I want to explain why insecurities overall means jackshit and shouldn’t matter.
Do you recall being so insecure when it came to our freckles? That we were highly uncomfortable when people would point out shapes in the spots? The realization that our freckle pattern looks like an artist accidentally spilled bits of pigment across our face giving the impression that the freckles melted on top of each other has slowly become acceptable. The good news is that freckles have become sort of a viral trend. So many influencers are purposely crafting fake freckles to sprinkle across their face in hopes to create a cute look of false skin damage. That insecurity ended up being a waste of pointless thought, energy, and consideration.
The freckles ended up not being the only insecurity you had that turned out to be a later trend. Those dark eyebags you were gifted with, it’s become a huge trend. I remember the hours of research you did in hopes to cover them up from society. Now it is a facial feature that makes you yourself. Sometimes you do look like a raccoon, but it is a pretty good tactic to scare off unwanted attention. Honestly, this natural facial feature is very helpful in the case around Halloween. All you have to do to look scary is add some deeper intense shadows and bingo! You’re set for a killer Halloween look.
The constant belittling of your appearance doesn’t change. Instead, we have come to terms with how we are presented to the public. We have acknowledged that we do not need to be fashitinas but instead wear whatever we want with a healthy amount of confidence. We have come to terms with the saying, “Thick thighs save lives”. Honestly, I’m kind of impressed that our body has the potential to kill a man with those thunder thighs.
Our usual gift for clumsiness has not gone away but instead has been amplified. You still bruise easily by simply tripping and running into shit. I promise you that you still embarrass yourself in the slightest ways possible especially in front of cute people. You still have that slight issue of scrambling for words when you need to talk to intimidating people.
You have come to terms that you can’t pronounce most things correctly. Everyday you find new words that you can’t say out loud. You still pronounce spaghetti as “pasghetti”. We don’t ever plan on fixing that on purpose by the way. The positive outcome of this speaking insecurity is that it never fails to humor or surprise peers, family, and friends. Oh, and a total side note that is also a positive, great tactic in the world of flirting. People try to teach you how to say certain words and it can easily turn into a flirty banter if you choose so.
Your height has become one of your bigger assets. I remember that we used to be so insecure that we stood at a small stature compared to the rest of the population. You’ll find out later that it’s seen as impressive to others who have the privilege of being tall in the first place. It definitely does take quite a bit of muscle and balance to climb counters to reach those high shelves. Especially because you wear socks to do so.
On the topic of socks, your fashion sense has been declining over the years. You finally realized that navy and black do not match, but that has not stopped you from overcoming the insecurity of being an abomination to the fashion industry. Your style has definitely changed and adapted to your new body that has come to reality due to COVID-19 along with college. New insecurities came with that change, but you’re managing. It’s important to remember that it’s normal for bodies to change over time.
The last insecurity I want to write to you about is your eye contact skills. We used to be very insecure when we would be caught staring or making intense eye contact with someone. This trait ended up placing you in some uncomfortable staredowns along with eye contact that ended up working out for you. This trait has made quite an impression when it comes down to meeting new people. You have a habit of warning people before actually talking to them in preparation for the vibes you can easily give off with the intensity that comes from the combination of eye color along with strong eye contact. You still do get made fun of for our staring habits, but allows there to be a humorous opening for conversation.
I know I addressed this to you, but this letter can apply to others who have struggled or are still struggling with these issues. I want you to know that you’re not alone with these insecurities. Everyone has similar and different issues when it comes to what problems they struggle with along with insecurities they possess.
Someone who accepts you sincerely,
Your present self