If I could step outside of my mind for two minutes – with just enough time to comfort myself like I would a friend – this is what I would say.
Dear Me,
May you never bite your tongue or hold back your words to shelter another from your internal experiences. May you share your feelings with an unmatched boldness and sense of pride; there is no shame in being emotional. Never apologize for your sensitivity, how some words cut so deep you find yourself shaking with a confused aura of unpleasantness. Instead, find words to describe your sentiments. Is it rage? Jealousy? Has an insecurity been exposed? Speak up. Tell them how you feel.
Likewise, never dim your glowing light: a personality and brain so bold and outright that its colors threaten many. Yell when needed, speak your mind, be cocky, and rise each morning with the goal of living your fullest self. Set intentions. Set goals. Challenge yourself. Never accept comfort or be complacent when it comes to what you truly desire. Who are you to hinder the pace of your own success?
And just like you nourish and strive for your own flourishing, share your passion with those around you. Lift people up, be kind, inspire people, and love so hard others follow suit. But don’t give up your own self-compassion with the prioritization of anyone or anything but your own well-being. Love yourself like you cherish your friends, dote on your brother, model vulnerability and intelligence with your peers, and listen to your parents. When you find yourself sitting alone in your room, wrap your arms around your own body and breathe deeply. You can do this. But you mustn’t become bitter when things spin unpredictably.
There will be times when you want to scream up at the stormy clouds of thunder, fist in the air and face twisted into a defiant scowl. As you feel this resentment, don’t let it overpower your other qualities. Your heart will break, friends will betray you, work and school will eventually exhaust you, and some days, you will be angry and sad and so, so overwhelmed. It has happened before, and trust me, it will happen even worse in the future. But you are strong and positive; do not soak up one negative emotion until everything good you see doesn’t matter as much. Continue to love even when hate is all you seek.
And when you do love, do it freely. Embarrass yourself with your lust for life because when you truly discover a source of joy, you mustn’t let it go.
And most importantly, my beautiful soul, you must know you are enough. If I could climb to the top of a mountain butt naked in the middle of a thunderstorm and connect a megaphone to the electricity in the sky, I would burst vocal cords with the intent of having you hear my booming voice: YOU ARE ENOUGH. You don’t even realize how amazing you are: you are too hyper-focused on becoming some perfected version of yourself that doesn’t exist. For one second, see your reflection as others see you. Visualize your mind and soul through the eyes of a stranger. Would they ever even think of those words you say about yourself when no one is looking? Speak to yourself kindly. Cherish this life. You are in the right place.